With regards to the amazing female body, Michael Rapaport said it best in Beautiful Girls. He was insulted for having posters of hot chicks all over his bedroom. His retort, in that goofy Long Island accent was, “Beautiful girls are like angels. They give you hope. I look at these women and I am happy.” Well said, Rapaport, well said. Too bad your new show sucks. Anyways, I present to you JC's pick of the ten hottest chicks to grace our universe. The picks are in chronological order beginning from my first crush all the way to the present time. Enjoy this feast for the eyes, and jack away...

10. She-Ra: Princess of Power

My first sexual experience occurred while watching She-Ra. I remember one time while the Princess of Power was fighting evil Hordack and company, her boobs began bouncing around. Immediately I felt a funny feeling in my crotch. I fell in love that day, and I don't think another girl comes close to the feelings I had for She-Ra when I was five years old.

I once tried scratching off the paint around the boobs of my sister's She-Ra doll with scissors to get rid of the white paint, thereby revealing peach colored boobs. It was glorious!

I wish I was He-man so I could be part of the "Power Hour" of 1987

9. Clarissa

Possibly my first real life crush. Since my sexual encounter with She-Ra, I always had a thing for Blondes. Now that I was ten years old, Clarissa, AKA Melissa Joan Hart from Clarissa Explains It All, gave me everything to incite my prepubescent fantasies. I feel a little gross seeing that she is like twelve in this picture, but my nostalgia says cutie.

Ah, the glory days of Nickelodeon

Clarissa went on to do some teenybopper films, and I still think she is quite do-able.

Damn did she blossom!

8.Elizabeth Shue

Although I saw Karate Kid when I was real young, I didn't appreciate the beauty of the blonde bombshell Elizabeth Shue till my balls dropped. The chick had great tits, a nice ass, and in the film, a fun-loving personality. If she could give that wuss Ralph Macchio a shot, then I definitely had a chance. Personally, I would rank her as No. 1 all time.

Without her, she made every June through August a Cruel Summer

Later, Elizabeth Shue got naked and had wine poured on her tits by Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. Lucky alcoholic bastard!

7. Alicia Silverstone

Although she was outstanding in the Aerosmith videos, it was Clueless that really turned me on to her. This chick is yet another of my prepubescent blonde fantasies, and I don't think she gets any cuter.

I would love to go "crazy" with her.

6. Beverly D'Angelo

Perhaps the MILF of all MILFS, this blonde is famous for the infamous Chevy Chase vacation films. And damn did she look good.

To be a great MILF, you need a great rack like this

5. Alyssa Milano

From Who's the Boss to those 1-800- Collect commercials, Alyssa has been there with me all along the way. She even seems to get hotter as she ages, though I didn't dig the short hair thing on Charmed. Nonetheless, she is slamming!

I think I just creamed myself

She isn't even a blonde, and I dig her this much!

Great thing about Milano- she is always willing to do a nude scene

4. Jennifer Connelly

My second and last Brunette. Jennifer Connelly has absolutely the best tits in the world. Jen's hotness goes back to my childhood as well in the David Bowie flick, Labyrinth. But the real turn on was seeing her with the double-sided dildo in Requiem. I love this chick!

...Drool...

Even though she has done her share of nudity in films, Jennifer also has class, and that takes a chick far. Nothing better then classy chick with great boobies.

Such a classy broad

3. Mandy Moore

The fact that she is young does not bother me. Look at this chick! She has been hot since she was 15 and continues to sprout. Hot damn! She has that innocent virgin look to her too, which also goes a long way. I just fantasize about poppin’ her cherry, and beating the shit out of Andy Roddick in tennis. Sucker got dumped anyways.

So young and sweet.

I threw this other picture in just because it has a girl who didn't make my list because I forgot. I mean Singled Out hasn't been on MTV in ten years.

Sorry Jenny, I love you too, but you got nothing on my Mandy

2. Lindsay Lohan

Yes, yes, I know she is gross since she stopped eating. And yes although I like blondes, she looked way better as a redhead. In fact, red has become my new favorite color, thanks to a certain somebody. Anyways, Lohan WAS hot, and if she didn't become anorexic, and if it wasn't statutory rape, I would most certainly nail her.

Nobody can argue my pick in this picture, sweet Jesus!

Here is a nice little comparison. I hope she starts eating again.

Can you see the difference? I hate Paris Hilton and her anorexia sorority

1. Nicole Kidman

Absolutely the most stunning woman on the planet. Great bod, good wit, great actress, and definitely classy. Nicole is number one by far!

Unbelievable! Tom Cruise was a fool to divorce her

Nicole looks the hottest in Eyes Wide Shut. The see through clothes are perhaps the sexiest thing on earth!

Kubrick was a genius! And I actually liked this film, too

And there you have it - my ten hottest girls from infancy through the present. Now feel free to jack away, just don't let me know about it. I LOVE HOT CHICKS!

Questions or comments? E-mail Zubazfiles@yahoo.com