Heyyyyyyyy you fuckin’ pieces of shit, how the fuck you been huh?

It has been a fuckin’ long time since you last heard from my stunning Italian physique, so it seems we have a little fuckin’ catching up to do.

So fuckin’ Valentine’s day eh? I think this holiday should have its name changed to “You are fuckin’ pathetic if you can’t get some pussy day.”

I mean bitches fuckin’ love this shit. They are just dying to get a box of fuckin’ chocolates or some other stupid shit, and if you give this shit to a broad and still don’t get ya dick wet, you got some fuckin’ problems bro.

I mean what the fuck do bitches really like about so much about them chocolates anyway. Nine times out of ten you bite into those shits and you have no idea what the fuck type of shit is inside of them.

I will tell you what might as well be inside of those shits though, Joeys fuckin’ cum. Because if I am going to actually spend money on this shit for some broad, I had better be pumpin’ my fuckin’ semen down her throat at the end of the night, ya know what I’m sayin?’

Now as for Joey, Joey don’t need to buy shit for no fuckin’ broad to get some pussy on Valentine’s day. Everyday is like fuckin’ Valentine’s day for me. As usual Joey has just gotta fuckin’ show up and bitches practically got neon signs pointing to their vaginas saying “Insert your beautiful Italian braciole here.”

But this isn’t about me today, because there is no fuckin’ chance in hell that Joey ain’t gettin’ laid tonight. This is for all you fuckin’ losers logged onto ZubazPants.com wishin’ you had a fragment of the sex appeal that your boy Joey Scaggs has got.

I’ve heard that a lot of dudes buy “Vermont Teddy Bears” for their broads if they are tryin’ to get some action on Valentine’s day. You know those fuckin’ stupid bears that you can get dressed up as anything, or be holding a heart that says “Be My Valentine” or “I Love You” on it. The perfect way of sayin’ to your broad, “I’ll give you a little somethin’ fuzzy for Valentine’s day, if you give me a little somethin’ fuzzy in return,” you know what the fuck I’m sayin right?

I’ll tell ya this though, if I ever got one of those fuckin’ bears for some broad, instead of sayin’ “I Love You” or some shit on it, I’d tell ‘em to write, “I Love The Way My Peesh-Da-Ling Feels When It Is Slidin’ In And Out Of Your Pussy, But After I Fuckin’ Bust My Load All Over You, You Can Take A Fuckin’ Hike, Maybe I Will Call You The Next Time I Am Horny, But Probably Not.”

I don’t think all of that would fit on one of those little fuckin’ hearts though, and I wouldn’t recommend that for any of you pathetic fucks out there either. Only Joey can get away with that type of shit and still get laid.

Since we are still on the topic of pathetic losers tryin’ to get some of that puss on Valentine’s day, I will try and make some of you feel a little better about ya selves. Even though you might not be able to stick your stromboli up in some girl this Valentine’s day, at least you are not as pathetic as this fuckin’ guy.

This fuckin’ homo is going to spend his Valentine’s day alone in his room eating a box of chocolates he bought for himself, then jerking off onto his autographed picture of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and finish the night by crying himself to sleep. What a fuckin’ loser.

Here is the picture before the multiple semen stains.

So what did you fuckin’ assholes learn today? Well you learned Joey is the fuckin’ man, and there is no way Joey ain’t gonna slip some broad his sausage this Valentine’s day. You already knew that shit though, I mean c’mon bro, who is betta than me, huh?

You also learned that you most likely are not going to get any sort of action, because you are all a bunch of pathetic clowns, but you are not as pathetic as that fuckin’ flamer Pompous queerbag. Anything else you need to know, huh?!

Well too bad I ain’t got shit left to say to you fuckin’ pricks, expect how about you go fuck ya selves, eh? Now get the fuck outta my face. FUCK YOU, I’M OUT.

Questions? Comments? Too bad, how about you go fuck ya self instead pussy.

Editor's Note: Direct all hate mail or love mail to ZubazPants.com

Or just join the Forum and mouth off at this guido fuck there.