SO, looks like you’ve come to the right place if you want to hear about BEER or whatever the fuck you’re drinking, hopefully you’re not a pussy and it’s not SMIRNOFF ICE or ZIMA.
What the fuck is Zima anyways? Is it classified as a beer? Pussy juice is more like it.
Now that we established that if you are reading this and you are not the “Zima guy” we can continue on with our favorite games we Zubaz writers and friends like to play when we are slugging down on grandpa’s old cough medicine. Some of these games will be played during our second annual Zubazpalooza on June 10, 2006. Since it is still before the event, email me if you would like to come and I’ll throw some directions your way where you only have to make lefts like that retarded ass commercial.
Beer Pong
I’m not going to touch on too many things regarding Beer Pong because likely you’ve played it before and there’s not much to say about it. I will tell you that it will be played in full force at Zubazpalooza II this Saturday, and if someone calls it Beirut, they might get their goofy ass curb stomped like in American History X. Only stuck up assholes that should be drinking ZIMA during pong call it BEIRUT.
Beer PONG during Zubazpalooza’s first annual event, as you can see our writers Fishman, Doug Friend, and Bryan Byrne all perving it at the tables.
FLIP CUP (SURVIVOR)
Another game I am sure we have all played is flip cup. However, the Zubaz crew plays it with a TWIST. Although we hate the television show “Survivor” and would smash the TV with a hammer if we were forced to watch it, we play flip cup and use a voting system similar to those on the show. The losing team of one round of flip cup has to vote off a member of their team but they still have to drink the same amount of cups.
Imagine what the last person standing on a team would have to drink, IT GETS A LITTLE INTENSE. This was at last year's Zubazpalooza by the way.
POINT AND DRINK
SIMPLE YET EFFECTIVE. Point and drink is exactly what it says it is. It can be played anywhere: Tailgating, in a car, in a hotel, in a bar, on a snow tube, wherever your imagination takes you.
The people involved gather around in a small circle and one person starts to drink. They then point to ANOTHER PERSON and then they have to drink. That person drinks their little drinkaroo and points to another person. This is a fast and efficient way to raise the blood alcohol content of everyone involved. You can also throw in some goofy pointing maneuvers when you’re the one that’s doing the pointing. So be creative all you drinkers out there.
now DRINK
DRINK AGAIN says ZubazPants.com’s artistic director Nick Rude
Shotgunning
Ya POKE a hole in the beer can or cup that holds the beer just like you would poke a prostitute, careful and easy. The beer proceeds to fall through the hole you opened up like a fountain and you have to guzzle that shit pretty quickly. If you want to drink real fast this is a game for you.
There’s gonna be a lot of SUCKIN’ down BREWS at the ZubazPalooza says writer Bryan Byrne
A friend of the site with crazy hair sucking on the can like he would a TEET of a COW
Keg Race
A new game we might have to employ at this year’s Zubazpalooza is a Keg Race. Simply having teams and whoever can finish a keg first is the winner. By any means necessary, Keg Standing, Funneling, etc. ... You can even circle jerk onto the opposing team’s keg or what have you to distract them even though doing what I just mentioned is not recommended because that’s just fucking sick. A respectable way to distract the other team would be to dance around their keg like they do in the Men Without Hats, “Safety Dance” video.
So there you have it. We are beasts and drink like beasts. Feel free to try any of our drinking games in your neck of the woods. Just be uh, careful about it you know? ZubazPants.com does not condone drinking and driving. Zubazpants.com does however condone drinking, getting your knob bobbed on by some lass, and hopefully she’ll suck out the alcohol and sooner or later you’ll be good to go. Until then…TAKE ‘ER EASY will ya?
