Holla. Holla. Holla. Holla. Holla. Holla-Holla-Holla.

I’m going to get right to the point. We all watched some fucking great cartoons when we were young, and some of us still watch them now. There were even some cartoons that we barely ever think about; that didn’t get enough playing time in our minds, if you will. This is what sprouts some of the most underrated ideas and characters of all time. Of course we all loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, The Simpsons, and all the classics, but we have to delve into the “deep blue sea” of our minds as if our heads were like shark fins to truly remember and appreciate the smaller characters.

Huckleberry Hound

Lassie just gave me blue balls bro!

Huck was a classic cartoon indeed and I likened myself to him at times, as I felt I could relate to the hound’s actions. I myself am a hound at times, and if I were to draw a hound I would make it blue because honestly I’ve never seen a blue hound before. Huckle-BERRY was probably most known for singing “Oh my darling, Clementine,” and I really like those tangerine thingies so it worked out well for the two of us. Seriously, he seemed like a real easygoing son of a bitch, which is probably why he never “stuck out” in anything, but was always enjoyable to watch.

Blue eyes, cryin’ in the rain

Lazy Smurf

The Smurfs had a good run while they were at it, beating up on that old man with a horseshoe haircut and all of that. Papa Smurf with his red hat and beard was a smurf icon, the smurf masses knew what they were doing when they deemed him “Papa.” Smurfette brought in the little boy crowd and made their penile systems stand at half-mast for the first time with that tight blue ass of hers.

No one remembers the best smurf of all though, LAZY fucking smurf. He did what he wanted when he wanted and didn’t care what the other smurfs though of him. All he wanted to do was kick back in his favorite E-Z chair, relax and put on some compact discs for his home stereo.

Just because I’m lazy doesn’t mean I don’t sleepwalk motherfucker

Usagi Yojimbo

Usagi was classic during his brief run on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and his character was basically Jean Claude Van Dam if he were to be a rabbit. Pure genius is what I call that kind of decision-making. The turtles loved him, April wanted to sleep with him and have Usagi give her the “dutch oven,” and I just wanted to watch this rabbit kick some ass and spit out some classic one-liners.

Oh fuck I’m constipated. Constipation is the thing of beasts

Speaking of the Ninja Turtles, it leads me to my next underrated superstar.

Genghis Frog

Another wacky amphibian that had a brief stint with the other boys in green was this gentleman Genghis Frog. Not to be confused with Napoleon Bonafrog, Genghis was fucking Michaelangelo on crack. He loved the ladies and he loved to party. I think he stayed up all night one time and drank a whole entire bottle of Tequila, which he kept calling his “Mexican cousin.”

My voice sounds like I have marbles in my mouth

Louie

You might know this silly ape from “The Jungle Book,” but he really shined during his time as an actor on the show “Tale Spin.” Michael J. Fox was the mayor of the city and there was a pervert with glasse… wait a second, wrong show. Louie might be my favorite underrated cartoon character of all. This guy had a DAMN BAR in his cartoon show. He owned the bar where all the pilots like Balloo would come and drink their troubles away, plus it was on an island paradise. Louie was one lucky gorilla who could probably drink you readers under the table.

Thursday you get 5 shots and a pitcher for only 5 bean sprouts man

Launchpad

If it has wings, I can crash it broseph

The one man wrecking crew known as Launchpad was so pimp that he was on two different shows. Not only did Uncle Scrooge love this big beaked bastard (how’s that for alliteration), but Darkwing Duck gave this guy the proverbial pat on the behind for doing a good job as well. Even though he was on both shows he never got that much play, and who knows either show could have been much better with a full time Launchpad flying their shit. In an interview with Maxim Launchpad owned up to the fact he blasts Eagle Eye Cherry’s hit “Save Tonight” in his plane while going on trips to get big bucks and no whammies for Scrooge.

I’ll get you Scroogy

Bebe’s Kids

“We don’t die, we MULTIPLY.”

I actually saw this movie in the theatres back in middle school with my friend fat Paul. Fat Paul must have gone crazy during the movie because after it he ran around his front yard screaming the movie’s catchphrase, “We don’t die, we MULTIPLY.” Anyway these kids get into some hilarious shenanigans while at a six flags-type of amusement park. I mean, who wouldn’t want to multiply like the kids from Bebe’s uterus. Imagine what Bebe’s punani tastes like. I’m here to say it’s seaweed. Seaweed.

…Seaweed.

A few underrated characters that deserve some mentioning before I go smoke grass with all the negro jazz musicians.

The brunette chick from Camp Candy who bears a striking resemblance to Dina from Salute your shorts

Like, totally 143, I was in Germany, and I fucked this guy, and I can’t wait to call him!!!

Simon Belmont from Castlevania IN Captain N: the Gamemaster

Anyone wanna play Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur??

Sharky from Eek The Cat

I just bit Eek’s purple nipples off and now I’m sitting in the shade sippin’ a fucking Pina Colada mang.

Hit my music. And don’t forget to check out our classic forum where we have NUTTY discussions all day every day.

-MÚ

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