First off, I’d like to thank ZubazPants.com creator James Francis Byrne for the opportunity to write an impromptu article such as this. I have a few things that I would very much like to get off my chest, and it has to be done as soon as possible before I explode like the 40-year old virgin.

I can’t believe I almost let this week pass by without even getting out the pent up frustration that has been building for the past four years. Three out of those four years the scum of the National Football League, the New England Patriots, have won the Super Bowl. If that wasn’t enough, my favorite teams for many years, the Indianapolis Colts, have fallen just short thanks to those who think they are “America’s Team.” Get it? America’s team: Patriots? Yeah we as a country really need headhunting scavengers like Asante Samuel and Rodney Harrison praised as real Patriots. I’m not jealous that they have had our number for the past four years, it’s just the way they have gone about it, and to be lead by a pretty boy such as Tom Brady, makes me sick to my stomach. I wish I had a dartboard with his picture on it in the center. And Bill Belichick, a great coach I’ll admit, but does he really need to wear a sweatshirt every single day of his life?

I suck dick for breakfast!

Don’t get me wrong, they are a very good football team with a very good coach and quarterback. Tom Brady better not be called underrated anymore that’s for damn sure. But yes, all of the other football teams and fans get it, you guys are good, HOWEVER, this coming Monday night, your reign I believe, will finally come to an abrupt end.

Why will your precious Patriots lose the game on the nationally televised stage? It is because they are banking too much on their “mind games” seeing as how they have beaten the Colts in my recent memory. Not only that, the Patriots have too many injuries this year, combined with the loss of their esteemed Offensive and Defensive Coordinators, it might be too much to overcome for them.

Listen to me New England. THIS IS OUR YEAR. You are not taking it away from us. We are a much better football team this year than any of the years past, make no mistake about it. No more talk that the Colts can’t win outside, none of that. I believe the Colts will put history behind them this coming Monday night in Foxboro, Massachusetts. Our pussy defense isn’t so pussy anymore thanks to Coach Dungy, who have us now ranked fourth overall in the league in defense. We now have a legitimate big-man run stopper in Cory Simon, who jumped ship from Philadelphia, something that we have lacked in recent years. Still causing havoc on our defense is Robert Mathis (tied for league lead in sacks), and Dwight (do I even need to say anything about him?) Freeney.

This time I’ll get you, Thomas Brady

The Colts offense is still there, just playing grind-it-out football this year because teams have been playing the pass a majority of the time. I believe if the Colts do this, and control the clock for a majority of the game, this game will take us to 8-0. Controlling the clock is something we haven’t done in the past against New England, and I think it hurt us big time, with our defense out on the field getting more tired by the minute. Peyton Manning should take advantage of Duane Starks coverage on Reggie Wayne, as Starks has been more burnt than toast the past few weeks. Let us not forget Cato June who has been an interception machine this year already taking two back for touchdowns, and he’s a LINEBACKER.

This team is starting to gel, and they are feeling looser then ever this week because they are undefeated and the Pats already have three losses. A loss to the Patriots is not the end of the world here, but it would sure hurt their confidence, and I’m sure the media will be all over that once again.

So, in the end, the prediction of MU will be: Colts 27, Patriots 17. Edge should get on track this game with over 100 yards, and if he does it will look very good, very good indeed. Edgerrin’s yardage last year in the playoffs against New England: 33. 33! He had better top that shit this Monday night.

Sorry if I seem so disgruntled, it’s just that I had finished reading Bill Simmon’s column on PAGE 2 and it just got me so infuriated how they (New England fans) think they still have it in the bag. So go fuck yourself New England, and Chuck Norris too, I never liked him or WALKER TEXAS RANGER.

the worst shit ever

If you agree with me, disagree with me; let me know I’m always down for a good argument. Email me at Yeahyeahyeaaah@yahoo.com. If you want my phone number, maybe I’ll give it to you and we’ll talk in Kermit the Frog voices to each other.