With Zubazpants.com getting a facelift like that guy on “You Can’t Do That On Television,” it’s only right that MU, or Mick Moranis as some like to call me, would write a delicate piece of material so this bud of a website can grow into a nice flower.

you CAN do that on zubazpants.com!

Ok, second thing’s second. I would like to write about this week, these things I think about when I get fucked up. You might think of them too, because, when you get fucked up, you think about weird shit, and you get into really intense conversations. Let’s see what will pop up into the ol’ noggin first.

Are there any other planets out in the universe beyond Pluto? The answer actually is a resounding YES. It seems scientists have found a tenth planet in our solar system further away from the Sun than Bluto from Popeye. As a matter of fact, it is three times further away from the Sun, which is a ridiculous amount of mileage, and it is also larger than Pluto could ever even hope to be. What I find so fucked up is that imagine you were on this planet, how distant the Sun would look. It would really look like how we view stars in the sky I think. Can you even fathom that? Imagine some cold ice abominable snowmen creatures lived on that shit. No, I don’t think anything would be able to live on some planet that dark, cold, and desolate. Here is actually an artist’s depiction of the view from this planet.

The shiny yellow thing on the right is the sun.

Languages. Now if the world evolved from Adam and Eve, just the two of them, then how on Earth did there become so many different languages. And who’s to say gibberish isn’t a language. Maybe all of our languages started out as gibberish and became what they are today. Say your playing baseball on the New York Yankees for example. You befriend a Japanese fellow named Hideki Matsui. Now think what you would think about when you are at the plate. “Fastball, Fastball, Swing.” But Hideki doesn’t know those words, or if he does, he most likely thinks in Japanese anyway. So Hideki is actually thinking “goukyuu, goukyuu,” and then he swings the bat. It’s just odd that people can be thinking the exact same thing, but totally different.

Time is on my side, yes it is! YES IT FUCKING IS YOU MOTHERFUCKER. Did you ever once think to yourself that time is really not a necessity? It is only because we are such sophisticated beings that we need them to schedule things. Without “time,” how would one know when to get to work? By the sky? It would be nearly impossible to have an actual schedule. But think about it. Dogs and really any other animal don’t use time. If you have a dog, do you really think it thinks to itself, oh its 7:01, I have to meet that French poodle outside for a quick hump? No, animals have no sense of that shit, and why should they? They're just l-i-v-i-n. Which is what I’m trying to do.

Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease. Do you like to get fucked up? Do you like pop tarts? If so, and if female, email me at YeahYeahYeaaah@yahoo.com