There has been a “lull” in the article production recently so therefore I thought I’d start the train back to zubaz glory days when we started a glorious DiMaggio-like streak of 20 straight Zubaz articles.

Ever since zubazpants.com started, it has been a hit worldwide, in places like Cambodia, The Netherlands, and yes, even New Orleans where if you haven’t heard, our own Joshua Kohan is residing at the moment. In any case I’m going to give out my ZUBAZ ACHIEVEMENT awards. But I’m going to rip a page out of old school wrestling and call them the Slammy’s.

A picture of the “old” Slammy awards.

Without further “Freddy” Adu, here are this year’s winners and losers:

The Zubaz Spirit Slammy

This award is for the person that pours the most heart and soul into zubazpants.com. Now I disqualified Jim because he is the owner, and is therefore ineligible to receive a Slammy award. So, the Zubaz Spirit Award goes to … (drums PLEASE):

Matthew “give me all the hunnies” Fishman! Congratulations Matt, your hard looking at porn all day and writing about it has finally paid off. I mean look, there is even ZUBAZ in the background of his picture. Un-real, he does it all!

Fishman: Well thanks Mike, I’d like to thank the Milf Hunter. Without him my dream would have not been possible. I mean, HOW DOES HE HUNT THOSE MILFS SO WELL!!? He’s a redneck from southern Florida.

The Ryan Leaf Slammy Award

So much potential, but fell a little short in his career. You can say so much about this No. 2 overall draft pick in 1998. This award is for a high Zubaz draft pick that just really hasn’t been up to par in writing articles as of late. As a matter of fact, our winner for the slammy hasn’t written an article in several months! Ladies and Gentleman, the slammy goes to:

SARAH ALLEN!!!

One and done ay Sarah? It’s too bad as I’m sure we all enjoyed your presence in zubaz pants. We could have used a woman’s touch, but with your busy schedule we are forced to make it into a DEN, with DEER HEADS HANGING UP. WOO!!!

The Where are you now? Slammy Award

So many people haven’t had the time or attention span to stay with zubazpants.com for its entire career, but still most have left footprints in our hearts. I could name quite a few people. Even in the forum if you check back into the depths, you’ll see posts from extremely random people never to be heard from again. But the slammy goes to:

ANTHONY LEONELLI!!!!

Once known for writing about mustaches for zubazpants.com, Tony “Danza” Leonelli has since vanished. If you know the whereabouts of this housekeeper/writer, contact zubazfiles@yahoo.com thank you.

Ay O! O-AYY?!

The Half-Baked Slammy

Do you smoke marijuana and read our articles or write/check out the forum? Then maybe you should be receiving this slammy award. Puff, Puff, Pass this award on to JJ GAURAGNO, of “Marcus Died, Hokie Pride” fame. When this guy breathes in the winter, your not seeing “breath,” it’s actually marijuana smoke, and his hearty chuckles will let you know your floating on cloud 9.

Best Forum Feud

We got the shit, Mac tight, brass knuckles and flashlights
The heatas n the two-seaters, with two midas
Senoritas, kiss rings when you meet us
P-Diddy run the city, show no pity

-Victory

These two show no pity for each other. They might not even know each other in the real LIFE, but they go at it tooth and nail like no other. They don’t butter it up, they let one another have it. So I say, “Have at it HOSS.” Peace. Love. And Chicken Grease. Slammy Award goes to: ButDaddysaid, and BLUE SLUSHY!!!! A shock to us all. We all thought it was going to be Smokescreen and Portugeese-Man-O-War because of their intense political debates.

Man O War: You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo?

Smokescreen: Why?

Man O War: They only had one car.

Comments? Check out the forums. Meet the staff. Eat some cotton candy what do I care. Holla holla holla. HollaHolla. Hollahollaholla. Yeahyeahyeaaah@yahoo.com son.