Well, to tell you the truth, there are some pretty weird lookin’ people that have enough talent to play sports. They sure as hell are too damn odd shaped and nasty appearing to ever take on a modeling career, so therefore I assume they practiced their particular sport until they were blue in the facial capacity.

Now, I do know that I sure as hell am not the most perfect looking person in the world. I mean, I might be hotter than some movie stars, but not ALL of them. If you chuckled at that you’re a goon, and so are these 10 “athletes” who are only as ugly as the people above them on this here list.

Numero 10
Kordell Stewart

Kordell really seems like a pretty normal dude under the helmet. HE LOVES NFL. HE CAN DO ALMOST ANYTHING, just like the lyrics to the Reading Rainbow theme calls for. He is actually pretty normal looking until he turns his cheek, so to speak, and BOOGAH!!!! I don’t even know what that is “growing on the side of his face” indicated by the Lisa “Circle” from Saved by the Bell. They should make a Kordell Chia Pet. (Side note: this is the second time in my Zubaz history I have referenced Chia Pets, because they fucking grow green hair and shit).

# 9stein
T-Mac AKA Tracy McGrady

Speaking of T-Mac, is it just me or can you not get enough of Estelle Getty. Sophia AKA one of the “Icy Hot Stuntaz”

In any case, Tracy McGrady’s got a McLazyEye and a half that’s for sure. I honestly don’t know how he can see the basket with the other eye staring way off into the distance.

Number 8

The One and Only…Jay Fiedler “On the Roof”

When you enter the shrine of ugliness, one can't help but look at the windows made of stained glass. What, what's that, Jay Fiedler's face??? "All the Way" Jay, as he was known back in college, ate so many muffs of ugly chicks that they wanted to praise him in such a form.

Seven

Nomah Garciaparra

What can I say about Nomah that hasn’t already been said about play-doh. He looks like you could mold his face in one of those bake and shake play-doh machines. Pass some of those bogus fries with the Nomar would ya?

# 6 (from Blossom, no not really)
Rebecca Lobo

Fuck she’s gross. Not only is she a giant among women, but she is just hideous, and I think the whole world has known of her hideousness for a long, long time since her days at UConn. Don’t touch her, don’t even go NEAR her. Make her go to Coney Island, bring you back some Nathan’s, and slap her on her keister instead.

Number 5

Otis “My man” Nixon

Doesn’t this guy look deranged? Like a Picasso painting or something. Mouth over here, okay, put the nose there, and voila! They should make a Mr. Potato head version of Otis Nixon, what do you readers think?

Number 4

Gheorghe Muresan

Yes he was in My Giant with Billy Crystal who thought that was a good idea at some point in his life. Let’s all laugh at him. Go make another movie called Analyze the movie Jack with Robin Williams in which we wonder how he aged SO FAST!!

3 spot

Scott Pippen

Scott’s been living off of his ugliness for years, it’s nothing new. They should make a statue out of him and feature it in Ghostbusters 3 where he attacks Rick Moranis (speaking of Moranis, where the FUCK has he been).

# 2

The Big Unit Randy Johnson

Inch for inch one of the ugliest mothafuckas in the world. Not to be forgotten, he loves to rock the mullet. This is one dude that will marry Jodie Foster’s character in the movie Nell and live in a cabin in the woods somewhere.

# 1 son

Samuel Cassell

The guy looks like Smeagol/Gollum. What more do you want? Fucking alien motherfucker.

Questions? Comments? Found a bizzarro Nick Rude that speaks only in an English accent? Email me at Yeahyeahyeaaah@yahoo.com, or report me to the local authorities.