“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”
— John Belushi

June 1, 2006

Herndon, Va — The cramp that developed in my leg as I parked outside Jimmy’s Old Town Tavern was a bad omen. Fitting though, considering the Buffalo Sabres’ season hinged on defensemen Jay McKee’s suddenly bum leg.

As a Western New York ex-patriot living in the Washington, D.C. metro area, I’m always on the lookout for ways to reconnect with like-minded folks from back home. For whatever reason – an unhealthy co-dependence, a fetish for abuse – people from Buffalo continue to gather with each other even after leaving the area.

And usually, those gatherings revolve around sports. Like today’s Game 7 of the NHL’s Eastern Conference Finals between the Buffalo Sabres and the Carolina Hurricanes in Raleigh, North Carolina. A win and Buffalo goes to its third Stanley Cup finals in franchise history and the first since 1999.

The ex-pats at Jimmy’s in Herndon desperately wanted to see that happen.

Founded by Western New Yorker Jimmy Cirrito, Jimmy’s is the area’s premier Buffalo sports bar (yes, there is more than one). And a 52-win hockey team one game away from the finals against the Edmonton Oilers is among the best reasons to gather and cheer. I figured it was a good time for me and my girlfriend (henceforth to be called “Muppet”) to head to Jimmy’s for some Bill Simmons-style real time Game 7 commentary.

Let the exercise in stomach-acid production commence!

(All time is evening Eastern Standard Time.)

7:20 — It’s approximately 20 minutes before game time. More families than I expected, but less Sabres merchandise than during Bills’ games. (Quick story: During the second period of Game 3 the Sabres scored three unanswered goals. At another Buffalo bar in Northern Virginia, I was sitting next to an older couple, wallowing in the Sabres’ good fortune. “Why are they cheering for Buffalo?” the older lady asked. “Because the Sabres are winning the Cup, bitch!” I yelled while knocking her ice cream sundae on the floor.)

(Okay, that didn’t happen.)

7:22 — During this pre-game lull, I think it’s necessary to set up how desperate the Sabres’ situation is for those unfamiliar with the series. Their best player — Center Tim Connolly — was knocked out early in the second round with a concussion. They played Games Four, Five and Six without three of their starting six defensemen. By dawn on the day of Game Seven, it was apparently another defensemen — ten year veteran Jay McKee — was out with a staph infection in his leg.

It’s not too much hyperbole to say that a victory tonight might cap off the greatest collective team effort in North American professional sports this decade. Yes, that includes the Tom Brady’s New England Patriots.

But that’s only if they win.

7:30 — Unfortunately, thunderstorms threaten to force Herndon town festival attendees next door into the bar for shelter. I don’t want the “townies” in here. They wouldn’t understand.

Muppet is patiently drinking in the crowd, waiting for the game. “They used to play without helmets?” she asks, watching old time hockey highlights on OLN. “That’s dumb.”

7:32 — OLN Play-by-play man “Doc” Emerick brings up the McKee injury. Color Analyst John Davidson brings up his importance on the penalty kills. Nobody mentions the Manitoba Moose. Yet. (For those unfamiliar with OLN’s NHL telecasts, the broadcast teams like to mention the most inane facts that do not relate at all to the game at hand. Like what Wayne Gretzky does while his wife bets on his team or explaining to people in Carolina that ice is supposed to be cold. “High comedy,” as Simmons says.)

7:34 — Mmmmm. Chips and cheese dip.

7:35 — Someone on Buffalo radio noted that June 1st is the official start of hurricane season, prompting the comment one hurricane season will end while another begins.

7:36 — Ah, the Carolina fans are called “Caniacs.” Do you know what I call them after learning tickets to this game were available as late as this morning? “Pathetic.” By contrast, Buffalo sold out Games Three, Four and Six in about 12 minutes.

7:38 — DJ Brian (they have a DJ) is playing Johnny Cash’s “Walk the Line” during the commercial break before the puck drops. Very appropriate with the Sabres’ blue line in shambles.

7:40 — Ten of Buffalo’s last eleven in the playoffs were decided by one goal. I imagine this one will be too.

7:41 — The puck drops and we are off. (It’s hard to type on the laptop at this moment. Butterflies in the stomach are active big time). Sabres goaltender Ryan Miller (from Michigan State as the OLN boys always let us know) is starting in his 18th consecutive playoff game. Good thing his playoff beard makes him look like Hockey Jesus. They might need a miracle.

7:44 — Because of injuries, Buffalo has nothing to lose says Davidson. Except going to the Stanley Cup. You know, nothing big.

7:47 — The Caniacs cheer a Buffalo player being checked hard into the boards. Like they know what they are cheering about. They thought he was turning left in restrictor plate racing (or some other NASCAR joke that’s appropriate).

7:48 — “That guy with the red beard,” Muppet says. “I hate him.” She speaks of Defensemen Mike Commodore. His bathrobe and red-head white man afro makes him the Johnny Damon of the Hurricanes. Commodore probably cheats on his wife too.

7:50 — Buffalo penalty kill solid so far after questionable goalie interference call on defensemen Jason Pominville.

7:52 — 7:48 gone already in the game. The fans at Jimmy’s seem calm enough. We don’t get many Game Sevens in Buffalo. We aren’t schooled in the etiquette. Jimmy the owner just walks in wearing an old school Sabres jersey and gives a huge “Let’s go Buffalo!” cheer. We oblige.

7:54 — Every time Muppet sees Sabres head coach Lindy Ruff she says, “He always looks so angry.” She’s right.

7:56 — Ten minutes in, the edge goes to Carolina. They’ve been more active and had the best chance on the early breakaway, but still no score. “Let’s go Buffalo!” Jimmy shouts to encourage his patrons. “I’m cheering on my own. Are you too scared?” Then we respond appropriately. “You gotta believe, Buffalo!” Jimmy says.

7:59 — Near miss by Buffalo during a three-shot flurry. “Fuck!” an unidentified patron yells. Sabres co-captain Chris Drury gets behind the goaltender with the puck, but the angle is a little too harsh and misses the back of the net.

8:00 — Shot from the blue line by the red-headed idiot Commodore gets past Miller. 1-0 Carolina. Bounces off TWO Sabres. Nobody is too happy in Jimmy’s. Do the Caniacs know why they are cheering? They probably thought they saw Richard Petty or something.

8:04 — The Sabres are fighting back, but nothing on the score board yet. Good chances, no conversions.

8:05 — A little boy sitting near us helps Mom pour the ketchup on the fries. That’s too cute for such a tense moment. I’ll try and contain my profanity for the boy’s sake. (Thankfully, they soon leave to go to the fair.)

8:08 — Three minutes left in the first period, shots are 9-7 in favor of Carolina.

8:10 — Another power play for Carolina. Two minutes on right winger (my favorite kind) Ales Kotalik for hooking. This feels bad. We’ll see. Only 1:30 left in the period, so intermission will help kill the momentum of Carolina’s power play. I hate when Miller looks behind him for the puck.

8:13 — First period ends with about 30 second left on Carolina’s power play. This might be the fastest first period I’ve ever experienced.

8:14 — Jimmy is explaining to some patrons that this is a Buffalo bar. To the unwitting who stumble in off the street, this might seem like a collection of mental patients and they might be right. If the Sabres win the Stanley Cup (a big if at this point), it’ll give the city and the region that oh so desired championship — except in a sport no Americans south of Manhattan and west of Minnesota care about.

8:19 — “You wanted a Veggie Burger, right?” Muppet asks after I come back from the rest room. Nice try, lady, I heard you say “Hot Ham and Swiss” when I left the table.

Muppet.

8:21 — Muppet also tells me that two guys behind us asked when the basketball game is on. Not tonight, my friends.

8:22 — Have I mentioned how pathetic it is Carolina didn’t sell out their arena as off this morning? I have? Oh, well, I’ll do it again. You don’t deserve this, North Carolina. Will your governor even remember to make a bet with the Prince of Edmonton? Can he even find Canada on a map?

8:25 — OLN is promoting their new name change to “Versus” in September. The headlines almost write themselves. “Versus program head commits suicide after losing battle with ratings.”

8:27 — As the second period starts, I feel the need to point out the Sabres missed a number of golden opportunities to win Game Five in overtime and close the series in Buffalo in Game Six. An unlucky bounce gave Carolina a victory in overtime in Game Five. Think about that when cursing McKee’s leg falling off in the sleep. Win Game Five and there’s plenty of time to sew on a new one.

8:30 — “In field hockey when the ball hits somebody, the play stops,” Muppet says, after seeing another replay of the Carolina goal. I wish that was true tonight.

8:31 — “Let’s go Buffalo!” starts the second period at Jimmy’s.

8:32 — Buffalo kills the remainder of Kotalik’s penalty. A good sign.

8:35 — A mention of “Doc” Emerick. Every time he finishes “SHOT!” on the upswing in Buffalo’s zone, I always fear his next word is “GOAL!” I never get that confidence when it’s the Sabres’ “SHOT!” I am from Buffalo, after all.

8:36 — A scrum takes place in front of the Buffalo net. The puck bounces across the crease, but no Carolina player to punch it in.

8:37 — Sabres co-captain Daniel Briere is down after a vicious hit that comes this close to elbowing. Carolina is pouring it on. The Sabres need a goal soon. This is not looking good.

8:38 — At this point, I’d bet on Buffalo losing. But things can change.

8:41 — DJ Brian plays a spoof of Adam Sandler’s “Hannukah," mocking the Ottawa Senators. “Three cheers for Ottawa/ Cause the Stanley Cup will never go to Ottawa.” Funny, but a little late.

8:44 — Briere is back on the ice and a non-call in favor of Carolina. Nobody has much leverage at this point. Even DJ Brian playing the “Sabre Dance” doesn’t lift many spirits.

8:45 — Flurry of chances for Buffalo in Carolina’s zone, but nothing doing. Half the second period is gone.

8:48 — Why does Carolina have cheerleaders at a hockey game? With the exception of the NBA, cheerleaders have limited appeal at professional sporting events. More for the Caniacs, I suppose.

8:49 — I’d really like them to score once. The spontaneous joy when the home team scores is among the best aspects of professional sports. No sound is greater when the home team scores at the hockey arena. Hopefully not anymore in Carolina tonight.

8:51 — Davidson praises the Sabres intelligent playing. That’s nice, but I’d take a dumb goal right now.

8:52 — Pommenville missed a rebound chance and Miller makes a great save at the other end — plucked it out of the air near the top shelf. Convert those chances, boys. And by “boys” I mean “Sabres.” Carolina can jump in the river.

8:55 — Sabres right winger Maxim Afinogenov comes this close to the rebound. Carolina goalie Cam Ward is good, I’ll give him that. Both teams are very good. Whoever advances should be favored. This game feels like 1999, when Buffalo could only do the bare minimum to win and needed Dominik Hasek to stand on his head to save a 1-0, 2-1 victory.

8:57 — DJ Brian plays “Kung-Fu Fighting.” Muppet rolls her eyes as I dance along in my seat like a 13 month-old.

8:59 — Brier gets two minutes with another Carolina player. Four on four for two minutes. The Sabres play good four on four. Good things can come from this.

9:00 — GOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL! Defensemen Doug Janik — called up from Rochester to fill the defense void — shoots from the point and finds the back of the net. Jimmy’s explodes in joy. “Quiet down that crowd. Shut up all their mouths,” chants Jimmy.

9:03 — “Doc” Emerick says 100 seconds left in period. Only if you invent a time traveling DeLorean can a person talk like that.

9:05 — GOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL! What the hell just happened? Somehow, with three seconds left, Sabres left winger (how bipartisan!) Jochen Hecht bounced the puck off Ward on wrap around. A 2-1 lead for Buffalo after two periods. Is this a team of destiny? “I have no idea what just happened,” I tell Muppet. She smiles. I love her.

9:07 — “Apache Lyrics” by Sugar hill Gang played by DJ Brian. (You know the song. “Jump on it/Jump on it!) After the Game One win, my father sent me an e-mail with one word on it: “Destiny.”

He might be right.

9:09 — On the Zubazpants.com Forum I predicted a 3-2 Buffalo victory. I still believe that (now), but that might be OT. We’ll see.

9:11 — I’m headed outside for a breath of fresh air. See you soon.

And now for no reason, Snakes on a Plane.

9:15 — I’m back, and the Queen City is 20 minutes away from it’s seventh major championship series (AFL titles in the 1960s doesn’t count). Hopefully, a happy ending this time. It’s times like this I wish I was back in Buffalo.

9:18 — The buzz is good, but I’m sure the butterflies are setting in. The “Let’s go Buffalo” chant is much louder now.

9:20 — According to OLN, teams leading after two periods in a Game 7 win 90 percent of the time. But this is the “new” NHL, as they never let us forget. A 4-1 lead would help the nerves a lot. If the Sabres can score quick, Carolina might not be able to climb out of that hole.

9:23 — A goal from Afinogenov would blow the roof off this place.

9:25 — “19 minutes to go!” yells an unidentified patron.

9:26 — Carolina goal? Yes. Whiny douchebag Doug Weight scores to tie the game at 2-2. The puck went in and out so quickly, the goal judged didn’t see it, but the ref did. That bastard. The crowd at Jimmy’s is deflated.

9:30 — My favorite African-American Sabre Mike Grier tattoos somebody behind the Carolina net. That’s always fun to see.

9:32 — “Just shoot it!” I yell at Afinogenov while he dances around with the puck in the Carolina zone. No result and I’m not surprised.

9:34 — 15 minutes left in the third period. Overtime is looking more and more likely.

9:36 — “Let’s go Buffalo!” chant starts again. Will it be enough to spur the team? “We want a big, fat rebound!” shouts Jimmy.

9:38 — More dancing from Afinogenov, a good pass across, but no goal. Good effort in the offensive zone after a failed Carolina rush.

9:41 — A HUGE defensive effort from the Sabres as they converge on any Carolina player with the puck in their zone. A floating 3 on 1 and 3 on 2 quickly collapses as the Sabres foil the Carolina puck handling. That’s followed by another good offensive flurry.

9:43 — Carolina power play. Apparently, Sabres defenseman Brian Campbell shot the puck into the crowd on purpose. A delay of game penalty. Hmmm. We’ll see what happens, after the commercial break.

9:46 — Nine minutes left in regulation, one minute in Carolina power play. Nothing bad so far.

9:47 — I spoke too soon. Carolina goal. Carolina lead 3-2. Who scored? Who cares? (It was that Frakenstein’s monster Rod Brind’Amour.)

9:48 — Eight minutes left in the season.

9:52 — Five and a half minutes in the season. What else is important now, but a Buffalo goal? Chances are nice, but not enough now.

9:53 — Power play coming up for Buffalo. Tripping on Carolina. After the commercial break, their last, best chance to tie the score.

9:54 — That damn commercial for KFC’s chicken/mashed potato/corn bowl abomination is on. I’ll forever associate that with playoff nausea. The crowd at Jimmy’s is not positive.

9:55 — A minute, thirty seconds left in the power play. Faceoff in Buffalo's zone.

9:57 — 20 seconds left in the power play. Less than three minutes left in the game/season.

9:59 — One minute, eight seconds. Still 3-2 Carolina. The Hurricanes players might deserve this win, but their fans don’t. I don’t care how loud they cheer. Ask them what offsides means. Or bathing.

10:02 — Carolina goal. 4-2 with less than one minute left. “Let’s go Bandits!” Jimmy yells. (the Buffalo Bandits are the professional lacrosse team.)

10:03 — Watching the Carolina fans cheer makes me sick. “There’s nothing worse than the Buffalo curse!” shouts Jimmy.

10:04 — Davidson praises the Sabres for dealing with their injuries. Too little, too late.

10:05 — 0:00 on the clock. It’s over.

The fans leave Jimmy’s rapidly and quietly. Everyone is disappointed, and that’s a mild characterization.

True, the Sabres played perhaps their best season ever. But so what? At some point the “It was a good season” or “They’ll get ’em next year” platitudes grow old and tired. I’ve been around for 25 years, but this Buffalo championship drought is over 40 years old. To bring in an analogy from elsewhere in sports, Buffalo has earned a lot of bronze and silver medals. After 40 years, bronze and silver are inadequate.

That sound? The city of Buffalo vomiting.

That said, the Sabres performed heroically with a severe man power shortage. If they were at 100 percent, this series would have ended in five games. They’d crush Edmonton in the final round. When at full power, they are the better team.

It’s not fair to burden this collection of Buffalo Sabres with the city’s unrequited championship desire. But they failed to slake that desire this year. The burden on them will be to do so next year.

Go Sabres.

Questions? Comments? Staph infections? Email me at mlucinski@yahoo.com

Michael Lucinski lives, loves and works in the Washington, D.C. metro area. He graduated from the University at Buffalo and the George Washington University. If you live in the DC Metro area, eat at Jimmy’s Old Town Tavern. It’s swell. Go Edmonton.