What is ZubazPants.com?

Invariably, this question is asked by anyone who comes across the site with no previous knowledge of it. Shit, it’s pretty much asked by anyone that comes across our little niche of the web, not just those who click on some random link in the seedy underworld of the Internet.

“Whose pants? What are zoo-buzz/zoo-ba? What does it mean? …why?”

I can answer any question about the actual pants, and how the site was named, but the reason for the naming and the meaning of the site is still something to be determined. Unfortunately for those curious about the pants themselves, that’s not what this piece will be about … if you are looking for a definition of Zubaz, I refer you to the Zubaz Wikipedia page. The intention of this piece is to explain why ZubazPants.com is here, and where it is going (which I admit to not really knowing … that’s a good thing though, in my humble opinion at least).

While attending the University at Buffalo from 2000-2004, I saddled up with The Spectrum, the campus newspaper at the SUNY school. In my time there I made my way from lowly club sport beat writer to Senior Sports Editor, and took great pleasure in writing sports stories and columns. Prior to college—and in particular my sophomore year of college—I had no fucking clue what I wanted to do with my life. I suppose I always enjoyed writing prior the experience, but I had never done it in the fashion I was doing it. Truth be told, seeing my name in print on a publication that was read all over campus got me hard. And more than that, I loved receiving feedback on my work. It was a thrill. Walking around campus or sitting in class and seeing people read my work gave me the best feeling in the world.

But soon enough it was April of ’04 and my run at college was coming to an end. The sands of time were slipping rapidly away as they always do, and in due time I would not have the outlet that I had embraced for the past three years. As any liberal arts student eventually understands, nobody is going to jump your bones and offer you a job as soon as you graduate college. Despite any illusions of grandeur you may or may not have, you are going to have to start from the ground up in the vast ocean of America as opposed to the big pond of college once your schoolboy/girl days come to close. The introduction ends, and the stark cold reality begins, which will be the meat of your story. You may have had a name on campus, but in the real world you’re just another body trying to fight his way through a mass of humanity. You ain’t worth much more than spit, and only time, work and a little or a lot of chance luck will get you where you want to go.

I had been rejected by about 20 newspapers across the country that I had applied to for a summer internship, so things were looking pretty bleak on that front. Grad school was looming, but whoever heard of a grad student writing for the campus pub? I’ll admit that the idea crossed my mind more than a handful of times, and I even went as far as to e-mail the editors of the paper, but I realized that my connection to the school would be much different than at UB where I earned my stripes and grew into the person I am now. That was out.

What about a website? It seemed like a solid idea and something I could most certainly do. I had always enjoyed and been jealous of the likes of Matt from X-Entertainment.com and Bill Simmons of ESPN.com, two writers who paved their way through the Internet and into celebrity in their own worlds. I knew I could write, I just needed a platform to do it on.

So, I talked to the web guys at The Spectrum and asked about how I would go purchasing “a website” or domain name as you would ask. Soon enough a site was purchased and ready to roll. All I needed was a name.

ZubazPants.com.

Like most of my better ideas do, it hit me in the face as I was lying in my crusty, semi-annually cleaned bed on some sleepless night. There was no brainstorming, stay-up-all-night-and-think sessions. It was the first name I came up with and nothing else could be better in my mind. And I stick by the name today and have absolutely no regrets about it. It’s catchy, it’s classic, and it provides a great gimmick. When I think of the site today, I don’t even think about the name, it’s just what it is. It is ZubazPants.com. What else could it be? DavidSchwimmer'sFace.com? I think not.

If you want to know how me and the rest of the squad pronounce it, we call it Zoo-bazzPants.com. Like if you were to say “bad,” but replaced the “d” with a “zz.” I don’t know if that is the correct way to say “Zubaz,” but that’s what I called them when I first heard of them back in the early 90’s when I weighed a buck-o-five and was pushing 10. A lot of people tend to call them Zoo-buzz or Zoo-ba, but I like Zoo-bazz and if you say the name of the site to my face you better come correct with that shit.

ZubazPants.com was alive, in name at least.

But I didn’t know jack shit about web design, so I was in a bit of a bind at that point. Nevertheless, I assembled my first team of crack writers, Nicholas Mendola, John Norman, Matt Fishman and my brother Bryan Byrne. Mendola, who still writes for the site on occasion, and Norman were my boys from The Spectrum, and were immediately brought in as we had talked about it at the office on numerous occasions.

Fishman had written for the other campus publication, Generation, and had been my buddy since living across the hall from each other freshman year in the dorms. Generation was a magazine on campus that most people preferred to the newspaper because of its “edgy” content. Fishman should have been a shining star at Generation, but was not utilized in a fitting fashion, at least in my opinion. I had seen Fishman’s work, and I always found it hilarious, the kid had a great voice and so does the man. But instead of writing about things that came natural to him, such as porn, video games, and self-loathing, the hierarchy at Generation assigned him to stories on things like the UB Frisbee Team, which in retrospect is pretty hilarious, but again, just plain ignorant of the tools he has. It’s like having Peyton Manning play cornerback instead of quarterback.

I couldn’t be more adamant in saying just how much the kid was underutilized. It’s a shame really, the man could have been a campus celebrity and with good reason too.

As for my brother, his invite to the site was not just because he was my brother. He has made me laugh out loud more than anyone ever by far, and was a diamond in the rough waiting to be polished as a writer. As far as I am concerned, even though his work is hilarious now, he hasn’t touched the halfway mark of what he can do. In due time that will come, of course.

The original team was set, but the site would not actually be a working site until about four months after its birth in late April. This was much to the chagrin of one of the soon-to-be writers, Ian Valentine, another chum from UB.

Ian is that friend you have that will make sure you get shit done, or stay true to your word. If not, he will be relentless in his ball-breaking until said task is completed. ZubazPants.com was one of these tasks, but sadly, he did not realize just how hard it was to put the site together. Nevertheless, his pushing helped get this shit show off the ground.

Valentine was a psych major at UB, and I never really thought much of it when I asked him to write for the site. He had a running series of stories in his AIM profile towards the end of our days in Buffalo that he dubbed “Great Moments in Hook-Up History,” and his invitation to be a writer was based around the popularity of these profile stories and the fact that he would expand upon them on ZubazPants.com. I always knew he was a very funny kid, but little did I know he would arguably become the most popular writer on the site.

Also added to the fold before leaving UB for good was my friend, Paul Cancun. Paul is perhaps the most unique person that I know, and definitely one of the funniest. While not everyone “gets” his humor, if you can get on his wavelength, things begin to make a bit more sense. I had gotten him on my staff at The Spectrum, and I certainly was not going to leave him and his humor off of ZubazPants.com.

Upon returning home for the summer, I was re-united with my original crew in Yorktown Heights, NY, and when I told them of the website plan, they were all about it. The next addition would be perhaps one of the most integral and important ever for ZubazPants.com. Ravishing Nick Rude, my best friend from way back in second grade (1990), was an art major at SUNY Oneonta, and had been a great artist his entire life. With his newfound skills in Graphic Design, he could bring something to the site that no one else could. He gave it the looks and style. Without his ability to create, ZubazPants.com would be the ugly duckling of the Internet.

While in Yorktown that summer and in search of a web designer on the Internet, my brother told me that our friend JJ Guaragno could design websites. So, luckily for me, instead of sending a check for $300 to some random dude on the Internet, I could have my buddy design the site. Everything was finally beginning to come together for ZubazPants.com . The wheels were in motion and this thing was actually going to go down.

Rude was working on the graphics and JJ was designing the site while I continued to assemble the writing team. Added to the crew were Isaac Kasikov, Damien Trilogy, Mu, Alex Cheng, Mike Bailey, Mike Scott, Corey Griswold, Ben Siegel, Brian Weinstein and Illyal. Some of those names you may recall, some you may not. Despite losing a lot of those names over ZubazPants.com’s existence, we have maintained a core group that keeps the site running. With myself as creative control and editor in chief, Rude as the artistic director, JJ as web guru, Fishman, Valentine, Feuer, Bryan Byrne, Cass, Trilogy, and Mu pumping out articles we had a decent site running.

Of course, we have added many writers since then, most notably Mike Lucinski and Roosta Da Neezy, two of our better writers. I only mention them out of the crop because I could go on forever about the entire staff and what they bring to the table.

But despite giving you a decent history of the site here and how it came to be, I really haven’t talked about why we do it and what we are all about.

To tell you the truth though, I don’t know if I really have an answer for all of that. Most of us create what we consider art because we love to do it. We love to write, draw, and create graphics. Having an outlet like ZubazPants.com allows us to show off the talents we possess and in turn brings entertainment to those who enjoy what we do here. Despite consistent in fighting and bickering, it also keeps us a tight-knit crew beyond our days of young buckdom.

We understand that it is going to be hard making money in this field, but we don’t really care. I think if there was no chance of ever making money off of our work or knowing that it won’t launch anyone’s career, we would still be doing what we are doing today. But hey, if someone came along willing to pay any of us to do what we love, well then I guess that is the dream, to do this for a living. I am sure any of us would jump at that chance, but in the meantime, this is what we do for you and for free. But don’t forget that we also do it for us, and that is very important as well.

But in the meantime we here at ZubazPants.com will continue to bring you what we have brought since day one. We will bring you everything that we have got to give, regardless of if you like or not. If you like it or love it, then hey, that’s what we like to hear. If you absolutely hate it, then hey, that’s what we like to hear too. But if you feel—in the words of Larry David—“ehhhhh,” about it, then shit, we best get our games up.

ZubazPants.com has evolved quite a bit from day one, and I am quite the proud papa of what we have accomplished so far with this site. The best thing too, I think, is that we haven’t even scratched the surface. Everyone that writes and works for this site gets more talented, more experienced, and more grizzled with each piece of work they contribute to the site, and I couldn’t be more excited about the prospect of what the future holds for us and ZubazPants.com. We would love for you all to come along for the ride too.

All we ask of you is to keep on reading, and keep on giving us feedback via e-mail or the feedback forum. While we do write for ourselves, we also write for any fans that we may acquire, whether they number 1 or 1,343,987.

And to everyone in the stable of ZubazPants.com, just remember, in the words of the late, great Hunter S. Thompson, “we’d be fools not to ride this strange torpedo to the end.”

Thank you.

Below is a history of writers for ZubazPants.com that will be updated as time progresses.

Title: Editor in Chief, creator of ZubazPants.com

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: April 26, 2004 (purchase date) – Current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Pleasantville, NY

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04, Fordham '06

Forum name: Jimbuktu

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: May, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Buffalo, NY

Resides in: Buffalo, NY

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: Mendolamazing

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, co-worker at The Spectrum. (met in May of 2003, when Mendola won Arts and Entertainment editor job for the next year)

Name: John Norman

Title: Writer/Initial Designer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: May, 2004 – August 2004 (never actually wrote an article)

Hails from: Long Island, NY

Resides in: Long Island, NY

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: espenknutsenisgod

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, co-worker at The Spectrum. (met in January of 2003, when Norman joined the sports desk at the paper)

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: May, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Long Island, NY

Resides in: Long Island, NY

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: Oodus

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo since freshman year dorm days in fall of 2000.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: May, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Yorktown Heights, NY

College Education: Fordham '06

Forum name: BryanByrne

Relation to Jim Byrne: Younger brother (1982/1984).

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: May, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Newark, NY

Resides in: Between D.C. and Baltimore

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04, John Jay '06

Forum name: Papa Shango

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, met at UB Orientation in July of 2000 as Orientation roommates.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: May, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Long Island, NY

Resides in: Buffalo, NY

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: itistillgood

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, met in UB dorms freshman year in fall of 2000.

Title: Artistic Director

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: May, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Yorktown Heights, NY

College Education: SUNY Oneonta '04

Forum name: ectocooler28

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Yorktown Heights, met in second grade in fall of 1989.

Title: Web Guru/Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: July, 2004 – current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Yorktown Heights, NY

College Education: Virginia Tech '04

Forum name: Camp_Anawanna

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Yorktown Heights, same class as brother Bryan.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: August, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Yorktown Heights, NY

College Education: SUNY Oneonta '06

Forum name: losloseeboy

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Yorktown Heights, same class as brother Bryan.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: August, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Yorktown Heights, NY

College Education: Hofstra '04

Forum name: haem

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Yorktown Heights, met in fifth grade in fall of 1992.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: August, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Yorktown Heights, NY

College Education: SUNY Oneonta '04

Forum name: zubaz4fans

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Yorktown Heights, met in pre-fifth grade party in summer of 1992.

Name: Michael Scott

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: August, 2004 – January, 2005

Hails from: Buffalo, NY

Resides in: Status Unknown

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '03

Forum name: RTrunk

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, was Senior Sports Editor while Byrne was sports writer and then asst. editor. Met in fall of 2001.

Name: Alex Cheng

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: August, 2004 – October, 2004 ... March, 2005 - Current

Hails from: New York City

Resides in: New York City

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: MooMooEgg

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, co-worker at The Spectrum. (met in January of 2003, when Cheng joined the paper)

Name: Brian Weinstein

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: August, 2004 – March, 2005

Hails from: Long Island, NY

Resides in: Long Island, NY

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: TeenageWasteland

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, co-worker at The Spectrum. (met in January of 2003, when Weinstein joined the paper)

Name: Ben Seigel

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: August, 2004 – October, 2004

Hails from: Buffalo, NY

Resides in: Buffalo, NY

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: (None, but posted as a guest early on)

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, co-worker at The Spectrum. (met in September of 2002, on staff at the paper)

Name: Illyal

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: August, 2004 – October, 2004

Hails from: Status Unknown

Resides in: Status Unknown

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: (None)

Relation to Jim Byrne: Classmate from the University at Buffalo.

Name: Corey Griswold

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: August, 2004 – November, 2004

Hails from: Buffalo, NY

Resides in: Buffalo, NY

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: Purely Science

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, co-worker at The Spectrum, met in September of 2002.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: October, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Boston, MS

Resides in: Akron, OH

College Education: Akron '05

Forum name: AnthonyUsedtoWriteHereForAWhile

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the Internet. Leonelli was brought to the site by Mendola, thanks to their respective bands being friends.

Name: Sarah Allen

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: November, 2004 – November, 2004

Hails from: Tennessee

College Education: Virginia Tech '04

Forum name: (None)

Relation to Jim Byrne: Girlfriend of JJ Guaragno.

Name: Seth Burdick

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: November, 2004 – soon to be returning

Hails from: Massachussetts

Resides in: Somewhere in Pennsylvania

Forum name: BURDICKLAND

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Yorktown Heights, same class as brother Bryan.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: December, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Somers, NY

Resides in: Somers, NY

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: Djfriend

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, met sophomore year of college in fall of 2001.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: December, 2004 – Current

Hails from: Albany, NY

Resides in: Traveling Nomad

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: BuffSoulja

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, met sophomore year of college in fall of 2001.

Name: Frank Andolina

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: December, 2004 – March, 2005

Hails from: Rochester, NY

Resides in: North Carolina

College Education: Gannon '04

Forum name: Freddiemac

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Gannon University, where Byrne’s girlfriend attended.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: January, 2005 – Current

Hails from: Newark, NY

Resides in: Virginia

Forum name: Blue Slushy

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Buffalo, met through Ian Valentine in April of 2001 (Valentine’s friend from home).

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: January, 2005 – Current

Hails from: Buffalo, NY

Resides in: Washington D.C.

College Education: SUNY Buffalo '04

Forum name: Nova

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from the University at Buffalo, was editorial editor at The Spectrum when Byrne was sports writer. Met in fall of 2001.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: September, 2005 – Current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Yorktown Heights, NY

Forum name: Hound Hair

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Yorktown Heights, same class as brother Bryan.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: October, 2005 – Current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Yorktown Heights, NY

College Education: Fordham '05

Forum name: fat rodman

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Yorktown Heights, met in third grade in September of 1990.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: November, 2005 – Current

Hails from: Windham, NY

Resides in: Los Angeles, CA

College Education: SUNY Purchase '04

Forum name: Reeni928

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from SUNY Purchase, met in summer of 2004.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: December, 2005 – Current

Hails from: Buffalo, NY

Resides in: Maryland

College Education: St. Lawrence '05

Forum name: thewordsmith

Relation to Jim Byrne: Byrne’s Cousin from Buffalo.

Title: Writer

Tenure with ZubazPants.com: December, 2005 – Current

Hails from: Yorktown Heights, NY

Resides in: Yorktown Heights, NY since his return from service in Iraq

College Education: NYIT '05

Forum name: Portugeese-man-o-war

Relation to Jim Byrne: Friend from Yorktown Heights, met at some point during grade school, but became friends in 10th grade English class.

More to come!? Questions or comments? E-mail Jim at BuffaloByrne@gmail.com