Let it be known, I am living a lie and have been for quite a few years now.

My life has become farcical at best, and I just cannot take living with myself and this dirty lie any longer.

It’s time to fess up.

It’s time to come clean.

Yes, it is time to come out of the closet.

Me and Mike have something in common …

I am a New York Mets fan.

I know, I know, and you thought that for all of these years I was a New York Yankees fan. Well, I was, once upon a time. But things change and I just couldn’t stomach rooting for a team like the Yankees any longer. Honestly, the New York Yankees as a whole disgust me. Sure, there are parts to the team that I still love, like Bernie Williams, Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, and Joe Torre, but Yankees like that are a dying breed these days.

Now the team is filled with scum like Alex Rodriguez, Randy Johnson and Jason Giambi and I simply cannot muster up enough willpower to cheer for players like them. I have no idea how ANYONE can.

A-Rod is the antithesis of what New York is all about. He is fake, a phony, and a corporate whore pretending to be your every day New Yorker. When he sold out his supposed friend Jeter in a 2001 interview in GQ, you could see a little of the real A-Rod behind the mask that he puts on. That alone should have been enough to never allow Pay-Rod to come to New York. Jeter is the embodiment of the New York Yankees. Through Jeter’s skin pours heart, determination and guts. He is New York. He puts it all on the line. And I fully expect George Steinbrenner to trade him one day, since this cursed New York team will not win a title any time soon pushing Furious George to do the unthinkable.

You don’t think it will happen, do you? Well, what happens when Torre retires or is inevitably fired, A-Rod has a better statistical season than Jeter, and the Yankees are in dire need of an outfielder to replace the aging ones they sport now? Can’t you see Steinbrenner sending Jeter for some Barry Bonds-type player past his prime while moving A-Rod to SS? Don’t think he would trade the heart and soul of the team for someone like Bonds?

He already did, but more on that later.

The latest acquisition of the “Big Unit” Randy Johnson is another move that made me sick to my stomach. Let’s face it, every Yankee fan has hated Johnson throughout his career. The mullet-sporting Big Unit ended New York’s run in 1995 when he was with the Mariners, and also did major damage in the 2001 World Series when with the Diamondbacks.

Why did they have to bring this guy here? Sure he has talent and an impressive resume, but the guy is in his 40’s and does not have much time left. To top that off, he fits in with New York as well as the Republican National Convention did.

Two assholes, and now one is a Yankee. Yeah, Randy is sooooo New York

Then there is Jason Giambi. Mr. Party Hard. Mr. Lies to Your Face and Collects $120 Million. The signing of Giambi signaled the nail in the coffin for what the New York Yankees were all about. It also signaled the nail in the coffin for me being a true fan of theirs.

But my fandom really took its first major blow when New York traded the 18-4, Perfect Game-throwing New York-loving, beer-guzzling David Wells for the ultimate Hired Gun himself, Roger Clemens.

Ugh.

The trade makes me sick to this day. Sure, the Yankees won a couple of championships with Clemens, but in the end the trade was irrelevant. They could have done the same with Wells, if not more, if they hadn’t traded him. Wells went 37-18 in the next two seasons with a far worse Blue Jays team, while Clemens went 27-18 over the next two Championship seasons for the Yanks. Those two seasons also proved Clemens was an absolute scumbag, when he deliberately drilled Mike Piazza in the head and then went ape-shit in the World Series for no reason while throwing the broken bat at Piazza.

This was New York. This man was a TRUE Yankee—he would be in Toronto one year later

Some may say that Wells is the opposite of classy, but at least he is not Roger Clemens. Wells was a New York guy, and would have given everything he had for the Yankees if they never broke his heart. Now you see him crying in Boston, and it all stems back to that awful, awful trade.

Douchebag

George Steinbrenner and his Smithers to Mr. Burns Brian Cashman traded a piece of the collective heart of the Yankees that day, proving that there was nothing sacred about the Yankees anymore. Everyone was expendable. From Boomer to Tino Martinez to Andy Petitte to Don Zimmer, nobody was safe from the boss’s wrath.

Said 100 times better in Buster Olney’s The Last Night of the Dynasty, that 2001 World Series signaled the end of the Yankees as we knew them. In a series where they were clearly outmatched, they somehow, someway pulled games out of their asses and forced game seven in the most remarkable fashion I have ever seen. It was unbelievable.

In game seven Alfonso Soriano—eventually shipped out for Pay-Rod—hit a homer to give the Yankees the lead late in the game. It looked as if they would win their fifth title in six years, but something went wrong and Mariano Rivera finally faltered. The Diamondbacks won the series and it triggered a response from Steinbrenner thats repercussions are still being felt to this day. Forget the heart and soul and pride the Yankees put forth in that Series, it was not enough, for they fell one game short and ultimately failed in the Boss’ eyes.

Enter Jason Giambi and the corporate Yankees.

Exit my faith and cheer for the New York Yankees.

* * *

That brings us to today and my acknowledgment of being a New York Mets fan.

I know that some of you may be skeptical because the Mets look like they are going to be a contender this year and probably think that is the only reason I am jumping ship, but I have always cheered for the Mets. Despite their flaws, there is something inherently likeable about the team and there always has been. If you know me, you know that I also cheer for the Buffalo Bills and New York Knicks, two teams similar to the Mets in many ways.

Also, I know that many people are going to argue that the Mets do the same things as the Yankees, as in signing big free agents. Well, that is somewhat true, but the style they do it in is far different and far more acceptable in my eyes. When they lost the World Series to the Yanks, they didn’t gut their team and sell out their stars because they fell three games short of the goal.

In the end, I finally made this decision because baseball wasn’t fun for me anymore. I was a supposed Yankee fan, but secretly resented everything about them. There were moments like Jeter’s dive into the stands last year that reminded me of why I liked Yankees in the first place, but in the end it wasn’t enough. Watching baseball wasn’t fun for me anymore.

I just needed a team to really cheer for, and now I have one in the New York Mets.

I’m sure I will get a lot of shit over this from people, but I really don’t care. The only two people I want to apologize to are Carl Giordano and Mike Putter. Carl, I’m sorry man, I just can’t do it anymore. If you are reading this, I know you are furious as hell, but hey, what can I say. Putter, you were right all along you asshole.

For the rest of you that are pissed off, well you can all fuck off, because I was born in Queens anyway.

God damn it felt good to get this out.

Let’s go Mets!

Questions or comments? Think I am a total turncoat? Feel the same way and need help coming out? E-mail me at Y2JimProblem1@yahoo.com