If you are a fan of basketball, watch the Western Conference this year. More so than any other year recently, the conference is loaded with a lot of superstars, and more importantly, oodles of talented teams. With the departure of Shaq, the conference has been completely opened up. Every team in the conference plays their own style of ball, and puts a unique twist on the game while knowing they have a chance to run the table in the Shaq-less West.

What makes this conference especially intriguing is the influx of foreign players into it. By bringing players like Dirk Nowitzki, Manu Ginobili and Andrei Kirilenko into the forefront of the mix, we are seeing something that we haven’t seen in years. The concept of team ball. And for an NBA fan, that is a very exciting prospect. These are players that are just entering their primes, and in cases like Kirilenko, are just appearing on the radar of the general NBA fan.

Southwest Division
San Antonio Spurs (1)
The San Antonio Spurs are to basketball what the New England Patriots are to football and the Boston Red Sox are to baseball.

They embody the word “team.”

Obviously, Tim Duncan, two-time MVP and NBA Champion, makes everything go ‘round for the Spurs. Like Walt Frazier said on last night’s Knicks broadcast, this man has no weaknesses when it comes to playing basketball. Sure, his free throw shooting may not be stellar, but he makes up for it in everything he does otherwise. He is, hands down, the best player in the NBA.

But I started off by saying this team is a team, and that’s what allows them the ability to contend for the title year in and year out. The Spurs are not just a one-man show where they give the ball to Duncan to see what happens. San Antonio has a glut of amazing players that know their role and cause a plethora of problems for opposing teams.

There’s Tony Parker, who the Spurs should be thanking there lucky stars in not trading for Jason Kidd, one of the best young point guards in the league. Parker is extremely fast, has great vision, can shoot, pass, drive and still has not reached his full potential. That’s just scary.

Then there is Manu Ginobili. The best way to describe this guy is to say that he is like liquid. He squeezes through any hole, can put up any kind of crazy shot, plays hard defense and even passes the ball extremely well. His style of play, which he used in helping Argentina take the gold this summer at the Olympics, is so unique in the NBA and so much fun to watch. The flood of foreign players into the NBA will certainly help the league, and with Ginobili and Frenchman Parker, it is most definitely benefiting the Spurs.

I’ve only named three guys on the team thus far, but I could go on for days with these Spurs. You have the ever-improving defensive stalwart in Bruce Bowen, and then off the bench there is “Big Shot” Bob Horry, Malik Rose and the newly acquired Brent Barry to boot.

If you haven’t guessed already, I think these guys win it all in the 2004-05 season.

Dallas Mavericks (5)
Does this team look different or what? Think of all the stars that have come and gone through this team in the last two years. There’s Nick Van Exel, Antoine Walker, Antawn Jamison and now Steve Nash. That’s four very talented players there. But maybe Mark Cuban finally realized that he doesn’t need that many superstars to be successful.

All he ever really needed was Dirk Nowitzki and a legit center to keep Dirk from playing the five, a spot he was unsuited for more than Steve Stifler in Bulletproof Monk.

Now the Mavericks have Erick Dampier, who seems to be out to prove everyone wrong that he only played well last year because he was in a contract year. So far, so good for Dampier as his play has been consistent with Nowitzki playing completely out of his mind at an MVP-type level. This could lead to a beautiful thing if both of them keep it up.

With those two at the four and five, Dallas completes their frontcourt with the other Mav long-timer in Michael Finley, the perfect two to Nowitzki’s one. In the backcourt, the Mavericks feature Jason Terry at point guard and Marquis Daniels at the two with Jerry Stackhouse coming off the bench as the sixth man. That’s an interesting mix, but one that may cost the Mavs come playoff time.

For the first time ever now, Dallas is without a legit point guard, or an elite point guard, which they had in Nash. In comes Terry, a point trapped in a shooting guard’s body. How the team responds to this will mark how their season will finish. If Terry can hold the fort down at point, there is no telling what the team is capable of with the defense of Dampier and the startling offense of Nowitzki. If he fails, we’ll see the greatest show of one-on-one basketball ever as Nowitzki, Finley, Stackhouse and Terry all try to take the team over.

Houston Rockets (6)
Written by Special Guest, Rockets Point Guard Charlie Ward
First off, I’d like to thank lord Jesus above for this opportunity to write on ZubazPants.com. Maybe I can enlighten these sinners and get them to cut down on the cuss words. Also, I think there are too many Jews writing for this website. I mean c’mon Brian WEINSTEIN, Matt FISHMAN, Josh KOHAN? What is this, a Hanukkah festival or something? Doesn’t Jim Byrne know that the Jews have the blood of Jesus on their hands? I’ll be praying.

Yes, yes he did Chaz.

As for my team, the Houston Rockets? Well, I’d like to thank Jeff Van Gundy for giving me the opportunity to prove that I can still be an elite point guard in this league. Maybe I don’t have the sweet shot or the flair for the dramatics, but golly I have the Lord on my side, and that counts for a ton in this world. Just ask our dear president.

We also have Clarence Weatherspoon and Dikembe Mutombo on this team, if that doesn’t brighten your spirits, than I don’t know what will. Well, besides the fact that the Lord sacrificed himself for your life! That ALWAYS brightens mine!

With Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady on our team, there is no telling how high we can get. While those two get us up high in the standings, I’ll do my best to get the team high on Jesus. That goes especially for Yao, we don’t need any hocus pocus Confucius lovers around here trying to break up our CC (that’s Christian Chemistry for y’all not in the know), so I’ll try to convert him to another son of god trying to make his way in this crazy, crazy world.

Well, that’s about all for me. Don’t forget to say your “Our Fathers” and “Hail Mary’s” for us. You could even throw in a “Glory Be,” that’s a short one for y’all lazy heathens out there.

Alleluia!

Memphis Grizzlies (10) The biggest story here is if head coach Hubie Brown ends up being the first coach to ever die during the course of an NBA game this season. Vegas has his death on court at 15:1 this season, not a bad bet. For those of you who can’t do math, if you throw down 100 dollars on that you can end up making 1,500 big ones. Easy money.

GM Jerry West seems to have been stockpiling talent over the course of the past few years, in hopes of landing that one, big superstar in a 2-for-1 or 3-for-1 trade at the trading deadline this season. A huge trade is something this team needs to pull off if they hope to make the leap amongst the elite teams of the NBA, because at this point, with their 10-man rotation, they probably won’t even crack the playoffs despite the talent they have.

What will be interesting to see is if he decides to swap Pau Gasol, their most coveted and best player, or a group of players along the lines of Mike Miller, Bonzi Wells and Stromile Swift. It all depends on who the partner is.

Pau Gasol gives the dead man a sexy backrub. Yowza!

Meanwhile, Jason Williams has become one of the better point guards in the league, and is a far cry from his “White Chocolate” days with the Sacramento Kings. Did anyone ever see that coming? I figured he was destined to be one of those classic players whose jersey sells like crazy, but for all of the wrong reasons. But no, his jersey sales have gone down and his play has gone up. He’s like the Jim Carey of basketball. Two people who started off as gimmicky kind of guys, but turned themselves into a legit contenders amongst their peers.

New Orleans Hornets (14)
This team is like the crew of hobbits in the Lord of The Rings. They started off in The Shire (The Eastern Conference) where all was nice and wonderful and their lives were generally pretty good. Then they have to go on this journey through the rest of Middle Earth (The Western Conference) where they are just completely out of their element.

Except in this version of the tale, the Hornets/Hobbits are certainly not going to make it to their goal of winning a championship/destroying the one ring. In this account, they get slaughtered as soon as they step outside of the Shire.

From left to right: Baron Davis, Jamal Magliore, PJ Brown and David Wesley.

Which is exactly what is happening as the Hornets are the only winless team at 0-8 in the West. Eek!

Poor little guys!

Pacific Division
Phoenix Suns (4)
You may be calling me an asshole for picking these guys first in the division after seeing them get off to their fast start, but I believed this team had the talent to take this division before the season started.

First off, the Pacific is probably the weakest in the West with the also-ran Kings and LA Kobes (more on these two later) amongst the supposed upper tier of the division. At the bottom you have the LA Clippers and the putrid Golden State Warriors. That leaves us with a young, fast, hungry and offensively potent Phoenix Sun team.

When the Colangelos purged their roster last season of high-priced talent like Stephon Marbury and Anfernee Hardaway after a poor start, they knew exactly what they were doing. They were able to free up cap space for the 2004 offseason, in attempt to lure big names out to the desert. Although they didn’t land their dream in Kobe Bryant, they were able to bring themselves in a solid shooter with a lot to prove after his time in Clipperland, one Quentin Richardson. But more notably, Phoenix was able to lure Steve Nash away from the Mavericks to run this high-flying team.

With Nash, Richardson in the backcourt and Shawn Marion and Amare Stoudemire at the forward positions, the Suns have a team that can compete with any in the league. Jake Voskuhl is a weakness at center, but keep in mind that Shaquille O’Neal no longer resides in the West. Also, Stoudemire, Marion and Richardson are all great rebounders who can go at it with the best the league has to offer.

Watch for this team to make some noise once the playoffs begin in what is now a wide-open Western Conference. At the very least, they will be one of the most fun teams to watch in the entire league.

Sacramento Kings (7)
The window of opportunity has long closed.

Sacramento’s run from 1998 till now is a lot like the one that the New York Knicks experienced during the early to late 90’s. They were both incredible teams with enough talent and chemistry to win the title, but each franchise had an insurmountable boulder in front of them on the way through the conference and into the Finals.

The Knicks could never get past Michael Jordan and the Bulls, and the Kings could never find a way to defeat Shaquille O’Neal and the Lakers.

Now that O’Neal has vacated the West, it would seem to be as if it should be the Kings time to shine. Well, their days to shine are long gone. Chris Webber is a shell of his former self, Peja Stojakovic wants out, and the heart and soul of the team – Vlade Divac – now plays for the Lakers.

It’s time to shake this roster up, which was once the most fun in the league to watch, and move players like Webber and Stojakovic to teams in need of that final piece like the Grizzlies or Pacers.

Let the rebuilding begin.

Los Angeles Lakers (9)
Is there anyone, besides Lakers fans, not rooting for Kobe to implode this season? It just has to happen as this team wallows around .500, nowhere near the dominant and feared franchise they once were.

And I for one can’t wait for it to happen.

I just wonder how Kobe is going to react when the Heat are in the playoffs and Kobe’s Laker squad is sitting at home come playoff time. Things are certainly going to be getting a little testy in La La Land.

Los Angeles Clippers (12)
Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand! Free Elton Brand!

To the Knicks. Please?

Golden State Warriors (15)
Six years and $37 million for Derek Fisher to start at point guard … ‘nuff said.

I do like Eduardo “Elbows” Najera and Mike Dunleavy Jr., but still, six and 37 mil for Fisher? Derek Fisher? The guy that makes every opposing point guard look like an All-Star?

And Stanford’s Mike Montgomery to coach this crew?

GM Chris Mullin has to be taking drug cocktails in the morning and funneling Jack Daniels at night. I don’t see any other way this could be possible.

The Northwest Division
Utah Jazz (2)
I like these guys … a lot. They’re like the Ultimate Blue Collar NBA team. No frills or fancy boy players, what you see is what you get. And what you get is a team with an absolutely nasty frontline in still under the radar Andrei Kirilenko at the three, Carlos “18 and 10 every night” Boozer at the four and Mehmet Okur at center. You have to love it.

People are going to talk trash about how Boozer spurned the Cavs for the Jazz, but you know what, fuck ‘em. If someone offered you 27 MILLION more dollars, wouldn’t you want to rethink your position? Even for NBA players, that’s a ton of money to pass up. The guy is a huge Karl Malone fan as well, so it’s pretty obvious he was excited about the Utah proposition. And I’m sure he wants to take advantage of the state’s polygamy laws as well.

With his Ivan Drago looks and all-around stellar play, Kirilenko is right now one of the best players in the NBA. And nobody even knows about him yet. The man does it all. Whether you want him to score, rebound, defend or assist, he can do anything a coach asks, and do it quite well at that.

As “Comrade Bigmouth” said in Rocky IV, “Anything he touches, he destroiys!”

Minnesota Timberwolves (3)
Last year I thought that these guys had made the best offseason acquisitions in bringing Latrell Sprewell, Sam Cassell and Michael Olowokandi to Minnesota, something I stood by as the season progressed and they made their way to the Western Conference Finals. Injuries however, plagued them down the stretch and the loss of Cassell really put this team down. They would have been okay if backup point guard Troy Hudson was healthy, but he too was also hurt. So, basically what you had was a rudderless ship with Kevin Garnett trying to will the team into the Finals. Against Kobe and Shaq, that is a very hard thing to do.

This year the Wolves return the same team, albeit a healthier one. Both Hudson and Cassell are ready to go, and even Wally Szczerbiak is healthy to start the season. Once again, with Shaq out of the conference, it seems as if the path has been cleared for Garnett to make his first trip to the NBA Finals. But, you just get the nagging feeling that injuries will once again saddle this team and force Garnett to run the entire show. Sprewell and Cassell are both 34 now, and are showing signs of breaking down physically, and after Sprewell’s claim of not being able to feed his family with the 3-year, 27 million dollar contract that Minnesota offered him, most certainly mentally as well.

With that said however, they do have the talent to back them up in Hudson and Wally World, but then where does that leave the great depth they had? Well, it’s gone basically. That is, unless they pull off a mid-season trade, which I think they will, in an attempt to land the disgruntled Net Jason Kidd. I have a funny feeling that Minnesota will be looking to dump some combination of Sprewell/Cassell/Szczerbiak/Olowokandi in looking for that final piece that gets this team to the promised land.

Denver Nuggets (8)
Like the Utah Jazz, this is another team with an incredible frontcourt in Marcus Camby, Kenyon Martin, Carmelo Anthony and Nene off of the bench. The only problem here is that Jerry Sloan doesn’t coach this team. The poor Nuggets have to contend with lame-duck Jeff Bzdelik as their head coach and a back court that includes the overrated point guard Andre Miller and Voshon “I look like a goat” Leonard at the two.

I just don’t like those two in the backcourt. They do have the diminutive Earl Boykins off of the bench, a player you just have to love, but he isn’t an NBA starter, more of a change-up point guard. While this squad does have an exciting roster, they are one big move away from joining the Spurs and Wolves of the West. My bet is that Nene, who has already been in a fight with K-Mart, gets dished along with Nicoloz whatever the hell his last name is by the trading deadline to acquire a solid two-guard.

Hey who knows, maybe the Nuggets dish Nene and Miller for Jason Kidd to reunite him with K-Mart in the West … you never know in the NBA. That would be one hell of a fun team to watch though.

Seattle Supersonics (11)
Explaining how these guys are 9-2 right now is like explaining why someone thought making a Skulls 2 movie was a good idea. Life is filled with mysteries, but don’t worry, these cats will fall off and Ray Allen will get shipped out. Maybe to the aforementioned Nuggets, again, who knows.

Portland Trailblazers (13)
I miss the glory days, I don’t even want to talk about this squad anymore. So, I’ll just leave you with this piece of work me and my co-editor John Norman did for our school paper last year.

Check it out here here

Questions or Comments? E-mail Jim at Y2JimProblem1@yahoo.com