In a lame attempt to be like the Sports Guy on
ESPN.com, I have put together an NFL preview by taking quotes from a movie
and relating them to football topics. I hate to rip the guy off, but it
just always seems so fun.
If you
want to check out his 200 times superior version, go to Sportsguy.net.
The movie I chose to take quotes from
is this summer’s Napoleon Dynamite, probably my favorite movie that
I saw all summer. It was
classic! If you haven’t seen
it yet, I highly recommend it.
And if you have seen it and didn’t like it, well, go fuck yourself,
because I don’t like you anyway.
Let’s get on with the
preview:
Kid
on school bus: What're you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon: Whatever
I feel like I wanna do! Gosh! What do you
think?!
Ever since I
saw the NFL Draft this year and what led up to it, I’ve had a serious
gripe with one Eli Manning.
This young fuck thinks he runs the NFL. Oh my, is he in for a rude
awakening. I just can’t wait
till some underpaid linebacker or lineman jacks him up in his first start,
which will come at some point this season, probably after Kurt Warner’s
head falls off. What is this
kid’s problem? Why wouldn’t
you want to play in
San
Diego?
It’s probably one of the most beautiful cities in all of
America!
Think about all the hot chicks there! Eli is obviously a major schmuck,
you could tell right off the bat when he held up that Chargers jersey when
he was selected and put on that sour puss face of his. But, not only have Eli and his
classic “pig vomit” expression been pissing me off, but now I have it in
for the entire Manning family.
I’ll never root for any of them again, especially after their
family “Got Milk” photo.
These guys make me sick.
I hope Archie dies.
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon: It's pretty
much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed ... bred for
its skills in magic.
You’d have to say that a healthy Mike
Vick is the closest thing to a “liger” that the NFL has. For the sake of the NFL and, more
importantly, my fantasy team, I hope this guy returns to his electric 2002
form this season. With
Peerless Price at his and my disposal this time in real life and fantasy
world respectively, there certainly could be some magic in Atlanta this
season and on my team, “You Stole my Batman Cereal.” Either that, or he is going to get
broken in half,
Atlanta will go down the shitter and I’ll be
forced to start Jay Fiedler.
Oh please God, help me here.
Pedro: Hey, Napoleon aren't you
good at drawing animals and stuff?
Napoleon: Yeah, I'm pretty much the
best person that I know.
I still can’t get over the fact
that Keyshawn Johnson referred to himself as the best talent of the fabled
1996 receiver class that included Marvin Harrison and Eric Moulds, among
others. I’m still waiting for
him to come up with a nickname like the one that Stephon Marbury gave
himself in “Starbury.” Well,
at least Keyshawn does have a title, but still, this is a guy that caught
like 2 touchdowns over the course of two seasons. What a douche.
Napoleon: Can you bring me my
chapstick?
Kip: No, napoleon.
Napoleon: But my lips hurt real
bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like
five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon: I'm not gonna use her’s, you
sicko!
You could tell from this early sequence
alone that Napoleon Dynamite was going to be an amazing movie, just
like you can tell this football season is going to be great because of the
early game on Thursday between the Indianapolis Colts and the New England
Patriots. Is there really a
better way to start the season than to have a rematch of the AFC
Championship? Okay, maybe a
“Ricky Williams Cam” attached to Ricky at his hotel in
Trinidad and
Tobago during the Titans-Dolphins game on
Saturday would be even better, with close up bong rips and Ricky’s
constant laughing at Lamar Gordon’s 2.3 rushing yards average on 45
carries, but let’s be realistic here. We can still dream,
though.
“I can throw a football a quarter-mile.
I could probably throw it over those mountains over there. How much
you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? ...
Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state
champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.”
-Uncle Rico
You’re kidding yourself if you think
Doug Flutie still isn’t pissed about being benched for Rob Johnson going
into that 1999-2000 playoff game against the Tennessee Titans. I can see him telling this to his
kids every night and every other poor schmuck that will listen to
him. Flutie has to be one of
the saddest stories around, but the little fucker might actually end up on
the champion New England Patriots this year. That’s okay though, because I hope
he sticks around for another ten more years, because really, is there
another time that is more fun than “Flutie time?” I loved it when Drew Brees would
throw like five picks and you’d see little Dougie warming up on the
sidelines. Always an exciting
time.
“Girls only want boyfriends who have
great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer
hacking skills …”
-Napoleon
LaDainian Tomlinson has all the skills
necessary to be perhaps the best player in the entire league, and maybe he
is just that already. The
only thing is, that his team is absolutely atrocious and doesn’t look to
be improving any time soon.
You have to feel for amazing players who waste some of their best
performances in situations going nowhere. Sort of like Adrien Brody in
The Village. An
academy award winner putting on a great show in a movie that just plain
sucked.
“It would be nice if you could pull me
into town.”
-Kip
Do the
Green Bay Packers still ride with kids on their bikes over to Lambeau
Field? I remember seeing that
during one of their seasons and was kind of dismayed. What other kind of weird shit goes
on up in
Green Bay? I really want to spend an entire
season up there just to see what it is like. I have a feeling something really
weird, like Tim Curry as Mr. Homolka in
Congo
weird, is going on in
Green
Bay.
“Why don't
you get out of my life and SHUT UP!”
-Napoleon
Browns quarterback Jeff Garcia had to
be thinking this when Terrell Owens went off on him in a Playboy Magazine
interview over the summer.
Owens made references to Garcia being gay saying that, “if it looks
like a rat and sounds like a rat, by golly, it is a rat.” Why is Owens so obsessed with
trashing on Garcia? What did
Garcia ever do to him? Oh
yeah, I forgot, Owens is just one big fucking
douchebag.
“Well things are getting pretty serious
right now, I mean we talk online like 2 hours every day, so I guess you
could say things are getting pretty serious.”
-Kip
Is it just me, or is the hype
surrounding a
Carolina return to greatness getting a little
too blown out of proportion?
I don’t want to burst any bubbles, but no team has returned to the
Super Bowl after being there the year before in this era of parity, and I
certainly don’t think the Panthers are the ones to break the
mold.
Napoleon: What kind of bike do
you have?
Pedro: It's a sledgehammer.
Napoleon: Dang! ... You ever
take it off any sweet jumps?
Napoleon: (Cuts to Pedro jumping on his
sledgehammer) You got like three feet of air that
time.
San
Francisco is going to have a similar experience
to the “three feet of air” that Pedro gets when jumping off of his
ramp. Maybe the team will try
and hype themselves up, but EVERYONE knows of the impending disaster in
San Fran this year. The three
feet of air will translate into three victories.
“You know, there's like a butt-load of
gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm
pretty good with a bowstaff.”
-Napoleon
The Baltimore Ravens and their gang of
thugs in Ray Lewis, Jamal Lewis and head coach Brian Billick tried to
recruit Terrell Owens over the summer, and were successful before he
forced a trade to the Eagles.
And thank god for that.
I despise that team as is, and with Owens, they would have been
about ten times worse. Now
they have Deion Sanders, that fucking imbecile. If anyone saw his “Sunday
Conversation” with Michael Irvin on ESPN and actually enjoyed it, they
should be dragged through the streets while on fire. Deion has to be the biggest
schmuck to ever play football.
Everything about the guy annoys me and I always wonder who people
that enjoy him actually are.
Are they alive, are they breathing, are they human cabbages? I feel terrible for Bill Simmons
because he has to hold back when talking about media darlings like Deion
and others that work for ESPN.
That truly has to be painful.
Good thing I don’t have to do that. FUCK DEION SANDERS AND ALL OF HIS
MORON FANS. Just go away
already!
Deb: And here we have some
boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season's fashion.
Napoleon: I already made like infinity of those at scout
camp.
Anytime anyone uses the word “infinity”
in context like Napoleon does, they get kudos from me. Football players need to start
doing this. Imagine Kellen
Winslow, “the fucking soldier,” proclaiming that he would score infinity
touchdowns this season. It
would be comedic gold!
Napoleon: Who are you gonna ask
to the dance?
Pedro: That girl right there.
Napoleon: Summer
Wheatley? How the heck are you gonna do that?
Pedro: Build her a cake
or something.
Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder
revamped his team for the umpteenth time in the off season, but this time
it may just work. Instead of
the out of his league Steve Spurrier at head coach, Snyder now has the
Super Bowl-tested Joe Gibbs to run his team. And don’t forget the addition of
the superb Clinton Portis at tailback and quarterback Mark Brunell. Gibbs may have been Snyder’s
Summer Wheatley, but it’s the added ingredients in the cake that are going
to make this concoction roll back to the top of the
NFC.
Napoleon: Well, what is there
to eat?
Grandma: Oh, Napoleon, just make yourself a dang
quesa-dilluh!
I can’t really think of anything to
relate this to in the NFL, but I love the way Napoleon Dynamite’s grandma
says “quesa-dilluh.” It’s the
little things that kill me.
“At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy
system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all
times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think
I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over
here?”
-Rex
Kansas
City brought back former head coach
Gunnnnnnnnther Cunnnnnnningham! to take the reigns over as defensive
coordinator this year. As we
saw from last season, the prolific KC offense needs somebody, anybody, to
watch their backs on defense.
The Indy playoff game was a joke. No matter what KC did, the Colts
would come right back and score on them. And eventually, as always, the
offense stalled out on a few drives and the defense was nowhere to be
found to bail them out. So
enter Cunningham, and for the Chiefs’ sake, a new mentality on
defense. If he can get them
out of the Peter Pan pajamas and into even something slightly better like
Teddy Ruxpin pajamas, then maybe this is the year that
Kansas
City gets to the Super
Bowl.
“Take a look at what I'm wearing,
people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm
wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn
about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go
home to Starla at night? Forget about it!”
-Rex
I just love the fact that Rex is
wearing Zubaz-like pants in this scene and talks about giving people
roundhouse kicks to the face while wearing them. Truly one of the greatest scenes
in a movie chock full of amazing ones.
“Who wants to be eating chimichangas
all year? Not me.”
-Summer Wheatley
Junior Seau made some comments toward
his buddy LaDainian Tomlinson last year about collard greens and fried
chicken, effectively snatching the prestigious “Fuzzy Zoeller Award” for
the year of 2003. I just
don’t get these guys that make dumbass statements in public. You can believe what you want to
believe and be an ignorant schmuck if you want to, but just don’t be so
stupid as to go spouting it out in the media. I don’t think Seau meant any harm
by the comments, but dammit man, you should realize by now that these
kinds of statements are going to bring the heat down on you. Just ask Charlie Ward and Allan
Houston what happened when they portrayed Jews as evil,
Jesus-killers.
“So are we still feelin' pretty good
about this 32 piece set?”
-Uncle Rico
So, are we still feeling good
about this 53-man roster?
This is a question I ask myself about the Buffalo Bills after last
season’s epic disappointment.
I really thought last year’s team was the one that would bring
Buffalo a Super Bowl
trophy. Man, was I
wrong. But, now the question
raises itself again. Do I
still feel good about this team?
Of course, I do! They
just needed a new coach and a healthy Willis McGahee! And a speedy, deep threat in Lee
Evans! I’m not in denial!
Grandma: How was your day at
school?
Napoleon: The worst day of my life, what do you
think?!?!
Shut the
fuck up, Willis McGahee.
Napoleon: Grandma just
called and said you're supposed to go home.
Uncle Rico: She didn't
tell me anything.
Napoleon: Too bad, she said she doesn't want you
here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and
eating all our steak.
Uncle Rico: I'm not goin' anywhere, Napoleon.
Napoleon: Get off my property!
Uncle Rico: It's a free country. I
can do whatever I want.
Napoleon: Get off my property or I'll call the
cops on you.
Uncle Rico: Well then do it! Go on!
Napoleon: Maybe I
will, GOSH!
The worst possible scenario occurred
this off season with Deion Sanders returning to football. His return left a void in the CBS
pregame show, with the “token loud-mouth douchebag” slot up for
grabs. Shannon Sharpe, one of
the most annoying fuckers in the world, was the guy to fill the hole. As soon as I heard this I let a
loud “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” scream through my house. I saw this one coming years ago,
and had been dreading the day like none other. The pain and devastation that
Sharpe and his horse-looking face are going to cause will be immense. I advise you to head over to the
local grocery store to stock up on bottled water and canned goods
immediately. This is going to
get real ugly.
Napoleon: Stay home and eat
all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've
been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm
training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon: Since when, Kip? You have the
worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if
you try and hit me.
I always wonder
what ESPN’s Shawn Salisbury and John Clayton are like to each other behind
the scenes, and I can’t help but think that uber-nerd Clayton would use
Kip’s “babes” comeback against
Salisbury sometime. Clayton in a cage fight against
Salisbury is something I
would surely pay to see as well.
Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last
summer again?
Napoleon: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in
Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept
trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation
like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon: A freakin'
12-gauge, what do you think?
Brett Favre probably comes back
to training camp with stories like these. If anyone in the football world is
a role model, it has to be Favre.
If you don’t like him, you’re either an asshole or a … uh … well,
you’re just an asshole.
That’s really all there is to it. Favre is football.
“I see you're drinking 1%
milk. Is that because you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could
probably be drinking whole milk.”
-Napoleon
This is what every team that he plays
for tells “365-pound” Ted Washington.
Washington must be up
around 450 these days and by creating a black hole by putting Warren Sapp
at his side on the revamped Oakland Raider defensive line, running backs
are going to be getting sucked into the abyss all season long.
Pedro: Do you think people
will vote for me?
Napoleon: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro:
Like what are my skills?
Napoleon: Well, you have a sweet bike. And
you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only
guy at school who has a mustache.
I wonder if Marvin Harrison
will ever get as much credit for Indy’s status as an elite NFL team like
Peyton Manning does. If Randy
Moss played in the NFL like he does in Madden 2005, which is
distraction-free, he would be the best receiver in the NFL. No question about it, he is “the
natural” at wide receiver.
But alas, Madden 2005 is not real life, and Moss just happens to be
somewhat insane in reality.
If there was a redraft and I had the first choice at wide receiver,
I would take
Harrison in a heartbeat. The man plays the position
straight out of the textbook and there is never a headache involved in his
play on or off the field. You
can have Owens and Moss and all of their hype and skill, but I’ll take
Harrison any day to lead my team to the Promised
Land. And you have to love
that sweet mustache.
Napoleon: How long did it take you to grow
that moustache?
Pedro: A couple of days.
I can just see Jay Fiedler
asking Dave Wannstedt this question.
If Fiedler were to grow a sweet, old school Jeff Hostetler
mustachio, he would go up about five points in my book. Sadly, that would still rank him a
few notches below Craig Whelihan, Browning Nagle and Dave Brown on my all
time quarterback list.
Napoleon: Pedro, how do you
feel about that one?
Pedro: It looks nice.
Napoleon: Yeah, it
looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. It's
incredible.
I’m probably never going to understand
what goes through the minds of teams when they opt to change their
uniforms because it always seems like the uniform change is a major
downgrade. Take a look at the
Broncos, Bills, Patriots, Rams and now the Bengals. All of those teams had amazing
uniforms that were classic, and now they all look like ass. I just don’t get it! Do you ever see the Yankees or Red
Sox changing their timeless uniforms? Hell no! Get with the program fuckers.
Deb: (Setting up Uncle Rico for a glamour
shot) This is looking really good.
Kip: You can say that
again.
Any New England Patriot fan must feel
like this after taking a look at the 2004 team photo or roster
lineup. You have the world
champion team with such stalwarts as Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and Ty Law
that are currently on a 15-game winning streak, and then you go and add
Corey Dillon to the mix. Talk
about an embarrassment of riches.
Nathan: Napoleon, give me some of
your tots.
Napoleon: No, go find your own.
Nathan: Come on, give
me some of your tots.
Napoleon: No, I'm freakin' starving! I didn't
get to eat anything today.
Nathan: [kicks the tots]
Napoleon: Ugh! Gross! Freakin' idiot!
Can’t think of anything here,
but I love any scene that contains tater tots, especially when they are
kept in one’s pockets.
Deb: It's Deb. And I'm calling to let you know
that I think you're a shallow friend.
Napoleon: What the heck are you
even talking about?
You think quarterback Jon Kitna made a
similar call to Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis after the decision was
made to bench Kitna and start 2003 No. 1 draft pick Carson Palmer for the
upcoming season? I do. Poor Kitna, he brings
Cincinnati to the brink of the
playoffs and the Bengals first non-losing season in a kajillion years and
then gets to ride the pine for some high-priced young punk. Oh well, maybe someday someone
will make “Kitna Kaboodle” cereal just like that other famed backup
quarterback and his “Flutie Flakes.”
Or not. Gotta love
that shaved head look he has been rockin’ for his entire career
though. Can you even imagine
him with any other haircut?
Just think how AMAZING it would be if he came back with Sprewell
cornrows this season. They’d
have to start his ass.
Don hands Napoleon a "Vote 4 Summer" button]
Napoleon: [Napoleon tosses it across the hall, stares at Don, and
runs away]
I would have done this if
anyone handed me a Peyton Manning for MVP button last year or a Rich
Gannon for MVP button in 2002.
Just give the damn thing to Steve McNair already! He has nobody on that team! They have to staple him together
before the games!
DAMMIT! If McNair went
down either of the past two seasons, the Titans would have gone down like
the Titanic. Again, MVP
stands for Most Valuable Player.
The Raiders had tons of talent in 2002 and the Colts have the damn
“Big Three.” If McNair somehow gets
Tennessee into the playoffs
this year, he has to have sole possession of it. This year, he literally has nobody
on that offense but himself.
Good luck, Stevie Wonder.
“Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and
forever... We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom... Sure the
World Wide Web is great, but you, you make my salivate... I love
technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love
technology... Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves,
flying up to heaven above... always and forever, always and forever... Why
do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and
forever...”
-Kip (Singing)
Anyone who didn’t stay past the
credits for Napoleon Dynamite missed one of the truly great, if not
completely bizarre, scenes in movie history. Kip singing to his wife Lafawnduh
was absolutely amazing and makes me think that this is what Mike Martz’
wedding must have been like.
Martz would definitely relate his love for his wife to his love for
offense, and I could definitely imagine him singing a terrible rendition
of some song that he wrote for her.
We need a documentary on Martz, because there certainly is a lot
more to know about this strange dude.
Napoleon: What are you doing here, Uncle Rico?
Uncle Rico: Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today. Broke
her coccyx.
Quincy Carter and Shane Matthews are
the latest quarterback additions made to teams, and you can bet your
bottom dollar that many more will be made after last year’s disasters that
occurred in
Atlanta and
New York (Jets). A solid backup is something that
should not be overlooked by any franchise. Those that have them in place can
always breathe easier when they see their quarterback not getting up after
a hit, and those that don’t get that queasy feeling when they look down
the line and see the likes of a Josh Navarre (Arizona) or the especially
frail Chris Chandler (St. Louis) warming up.
Uncle Rico: Kip, I reckon... you know a lot
about... cyberspace? You ever come across anything... like time travel?
Kip: Easy, I've already looked into it for myself.
Uncle Rico:
Right on... right on.
This must sound like a conversation
that Dolphins head coach Dave Wannstedt and owner Wayne Huizenga had over
the summer after all the tragedies that went down for the team. Wannstedt would definitely take
the role of Uncle Rico, and he actually looks like him a little to
boot.
(Napoleon Dynamite straps himself into the time
machine)
Kip: So are you ready?
Napoleon: Yeah, hold on... I
forgot to put in the crystals.
Although
Miami is the franchise that
probably wished the most to go back in time, Bill Parcells and his Dallas
Cowboys are actually doing it.
How much crack is this guy taking? I thought they would go 6-10 last
year, but Parcells proved me wrong somehow and took his shitty team to the
playoffs. There is no chance
of success this year. This is
the New York Jets of 1998, and Vinny Testaverde’s mobility has dropped
from sloth-like to Mike-Piazza like.
Now that’s a scary drop in speed. I just can’t see this team doing
anything this year, especially in the rough and tumble NFC East.
Kip: So when's grandma coming back?
Uncle Rico: I
don't know. Not sure.
Napoleon: You don't have to stay here with us,
we're not babies.
Uncle Rico: Ha ha! Talk to your auntie Carolyn.
Napoleon: Kip is like 32 years old.
Kip: I don't mind if you
stay.
This part of the movie reminds me of the situation the
Giants are going through right now.
They had a worthless season last year, and now need some discipline
in the form of General Tom Coughlin.
You have a bunch of 20 and 30-something NFL players that just plain
gave up last year, and now they need some guy yelling and screaming in
their faces all the time.
Sounds like a good time!
Good job last year, now look what you got yourselves into. I’ve got Shockey as the first guy
to go Sprewell on Coughlin.
Although it would be much funnier if it were Spin Doctor Steve
Christie to do it.
“Napoleon, you know we can't
afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this
family? Take it back! And get some pampers for you and your brother while
you're at it.”
-Uncle Rico
Oh, those poor
San Francisco 49ers. What can be said about them that
hasn’t been said before?
Well, that’s what you get for firing a coach in Steve Mariucci that
won you the division and took you to the second round of the
playoffs. “IDIOTS!”
“ I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense
system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend
yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the
wisdom of a man.”
-Rex
Rex reminds me
a lot of Bill Parcells style of football. Everyone buys in, and the players
become one unit. Too bad they
are going to suck Grizzly Bear balls this year.
Teacher: Your current event, Napoleon.
Napoleon:
Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at
the bottom of
Lake
Lochness to blow
Nessy out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessy
Alliance
summoned the help of
Scotland's
local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local
residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our
underwater ally.
“What the fuck? HAHA!” is the same reaction I had
when I heard that Ricky Williams was quitting the NFL. I always liked the guy, he was as
crazy as they come and in my book that deserves an A+, but he did play for
the Dolphins. So fuck ‘em!
HAHA!
Napoleon: Do the chickens have large talons?
Farmer: Do they have what?
Napoleon: Large talons.
Farmer: I
don't understand a word you just said.
If you haven’t seen this movie
already, go see it NOW! If
anything, it’s nothing like anything you have seen before.
Byrne’s Predicted Standings:
AFC East
New England 12-4
New
York*
10-6
Buffalo
9-7
Miami
4-12
AFC North
Baltimore
10-6
Pittsburgh
9-7
Cincinnati
8-8
Cleveland
6-10
AFC South
Indianapolis
12-4
Jacksonville*
9-7
Houston
9-7
Tennessee
7-9
AFC West
Kansas
City
13-3
Denver
8-8
Oakland
7-9
San
Diego
5-11
NFC East
Philly
12-4
Washington* 10-6
New
York
6-10
Dallas
5-11
NFC North
Green Bay
11-5
Minnesota*
10-6
Detroit
7-9
Chicago
7-9
NFC South
New
Orleans
10-6
Atlanta
9-7
Carolina
9-7
Tampa
Bay
4-12
NFC West
Seattle
12-4
St.
Louis
8-8
Arizona
6-10
San
Francisco 1-15
Playoffs
AFC First
Round
New England over
Jacksonville and
New York over
Baltimore
NFC First
Round
Minnesota over
New
Orleans and
Green
Bay
over
Philadelphia
AFC Divisional Round
Kansas
City over
New
York and
New England over
Indianapolis
NFC Divisional Round
Philadelphia over
Minnesota and
Seattle over
Green
Bay
AFC Championship
Kansas City
over
New England
NFC Championship
Philadelphia
over
Seattle
Super Bowl
Philly over
Kansas
City
Questions or comments? E-mail Jim Byrne at
Y2JimProblem1@yahoo.com
