I was at a small deli while visiting my friend’s College in Worcester, Massachusetts when I picked up the New York Post and said, “Wow, they get the post out here?” I pointed out the classic sleazy headline to my friend Ben without thinking that I knew the kid on the cover.

As soon as I opened it up to the main spread, I yelled out “HOLY SHIT!” causing a commotion in the Deli and upsetting elderly people. It was Malumba. The Malumba. I then began to read on about the sick and twisted tale of Malumba driving down to Long Island to kill his father in his sleep by beating him to death with a baseball bat and a sledge hammer and slitting his throat, then driving back up to Westchester to dump his body in a local reservoir.

After the initial shock of seeing someone that I knew directly accused of murder on the front page of the New York Post faded away, I really wasn’t too surprised at all. After all, he was the most bizarre person that I had ever come in contact with.

Only a week before the murder, my friends and I had a group discussion about Malumba after a fellow Zubaz writer told us a story that Malumba was fired from the camp he had worked at for asking a twelve year old girl out on a date to the movies. During our round table discussion on Malumba, one of us said, “He is going to kill someone one day, or do something really crazy.”

Little did we all know that “one day” would come only one week later.

Who is this Malumba you ask? Well only about the most perve motherfucker who has ever walked the soil of this earth. I had the pleasure of working with this twisted weirdo last summer at FDR State Park. Immediately after he started his employment, he created a buzz amongst the employees there because he was just so damn strange.

The best way to describe him was like an Alien. He was 26 years old, of Ugandan descent and looked like an Olympic runner, but he talked very effeminately and would say the most random shit. He has been quoted as saying such things as “Michael Jackson is a proud American” and “What’s so wrong about sharing your bed with children?” He also could be spotted daily sucking down spaghetti strand by strand out of a Tupperware container in the FDR cafeteria.

I only dealt with this strangling a few times while working maintenance in the park, but I knew instantly that he ranked a 10 on the Pervo-meter. When I worked with him he said things to me like “Do you like the show Roseanne?” and when I answered him “No, I don’t,” he seemed really offended and then went on to list all the reasons he thought it was funny.

It was not I who had the strangest encounters with Malumba though, it was my friend Fairweather who first got a glimpse of the psychotic side of the man.

Fairweather told a story that one day just the two of them were riding in the maintenance van and Malumba asked him questions about gay marriage. I believe the dialogue went something like this.

Malumba: What do you think about two gay people getting married?”
Fairweather: I don’t approve.
Malumba: So you are a Homophobe?
Fairweather: Yeah, I guess so then.
Malumba: What would you do if a guy tried to rape you.
Fairweather: I’d kick his ass.
Malumba: What would you do if he tied you up and you couldn’t do anything about it,…then he raped you.
Fairweather: (Slams on breaks) Don’t you ever fucking say anything like that to me again! You hear me!”

This incident happened to be the reason why Malumba was fired from FDR. Fairweather reported the incident to Marvin, the maintenance supervisor who was a hard ass black man that was looking for a reason to fire Malumba in the first place.

“He’s been making a lot of people here uncomfortable,” Marvin said.

Fairweather filled out a complaint form and shortly after Malumba was given the old heave ho from FDR.

These were the stories that were never told in the papers, the papers described Malumba as a quiet kid who never spoke up much and was very well mannered and courteous to others.

Here are some snippets of some of the stuff in the local paper “The North county News”…

“’Shock’ was also a word used yesterday by Tracey Burns, who was a classmate and friend of Malumba Kazigo at Somers High School.

She recalled that Kazigo was "a very sweet, friendly" and shy person.

Burns said she cannot believe Kazigo would have committed the act he confessed to. "This is not his character at all," Burns said.

Oh I beg to differ Tracey Burns, I beg to differ …

Questions, comments? Email me at itsbyrne@hotmail.com or contact me on the forum