Heyyyyyyy you fuckin’ scumbags.

I know you’ve all anxiously awaited the return of your boy Joey, but I’m a fuckin’ busy man these days. You know it’s the spring time, and pussy is coming down on your boy like a fuckin’ waterfall. These fuckin’ broads are getting hornier and hornier as the temperature gets warmer and warmer, it’s a thing of beauty ya know what I’m sayin’?

The way Joey sees it, the warmer it gets, the less clothes these broads start wearing, it's just one less layer for your boy Scaggs to take off before he plants his fuckin’ cock into some of that sweet delightful fuckin’ punani, you catch my fuckin’ drift?

Yeah so I know you fuckin’ clowns couldn’t wait to hear from your favorite Italian stud, but I’ve had better things to do than write for this fucking dump of a website ZubazPants.com, or as I like to call it, referring to everyone who contributes to the website besides Joey, Faggots.com.

Anyway, So uhhh yeah, Joey has got a little story to tell ya like usual. So last weekend your boy gets the word that there is a poppin’ party out in the Hamptons down at “The Beach Bar.” The first thing I’m thinkin’ is, “How is this gonna be a poppin’ off party if Joey isn’t in the fuckin’ building?”

So Joey makes his way to the Hamptons to get this fuckin’ party started ya know what im sayin’? As soon as Joey walks in, everyone knows this fuckin’ party has just begun. The music is bumpin’, I got fuckin’ dozens of bitches grindin’ on my cock, im gettin’ fuckin’ wasted with my boys.

How you gonna fuck with these guns, eh?

Everything is going smooth for a little while, Joey is getting’ digits left and right from fuckin’ beautiful broads who want to get down in some three way action with your boy.

Yeah I fucked em’ both ... for hours.

So while I’m plantin’ some fuckin’ seeds for this fuckin’ threesome, I feel someone tap on my shoulder. I turn around and its fuckin’ Tony Cordone and his fuckin’ bull dyke of a sister Michelle.

Immediately I knew that some drama was about go down. Somehow Tony and Michelle found out that their younger sister Antonia was doing fatty lines of Yayo off of Joey’s cock in the bathroom at Club 19 in Oyster Bay last month.

Let me just tell you there is nothing like the sensation of getting some yip blown off of your pecker, then having that broad suck that shit down like a fiend right after. Shit was incredible. Needless to say the Cordone’s were not too fuckin’ happy about it.

So Tony is like, “You gonna tell me what the fuck happened with you and my sista?”

So then I’m fuckin’ like, “I don’t know what you mean Tony, what are you talkin’ about.”

Then he is like, “You know exactly what the what the fuck I mean, so fuckin’ tell me what the fuck you did with my sista!”

So then I’m like “Ohhhhhhhhh!!!! You mean the time she was ripping lines off of my cock in the bathroom, that fuckin’ coked out slut, you should check that fuckin’ bitch into rehab, bro. I mean I’m fuckin’ hung like a racehorse and she was doing lines the size of my entire schlong bro!!!”

Right after I say that shit, fuckin’ that dyke Michelle clobbers me right in the fuckin’ face. I stumble back and hold my face for a moment, cuz believe me, that fuckin’ bitch hit me hard.

I hesitate for a moment and think to myself, “You cant hit a girl bro, you remember what happened last time you did.” Then I thought about it again and decided “fuck it, she’s more of a man than me.” So I fuckin’ wind up and throw a fuckin’ haymaker right in that bitch’s teeth. I fuckin’ knocked that dyke out flat let me tell you.

So right after fuckin’ Michelle falls to the ground slowly like a fuckin’ giant redwood falling in the forest, the whole place is stunned. When what has just happened finally registers in Tony’s brain, that one of his sisters was blowin’ lines off my dick and now I just knocked the other one out cold, he fuckin’ lunges towards me in rage.

Before Tony can get near me fuckin’ the club's owner “Big Al” gets in the middle.

Fuckin’ Big Al posing with bitches he’ll never even get to fuck.

So Big Al is like, “What the fuck just happened here?!”, as he points to Michelle’s lifeless body on the ground.

The whole time Big Al is holding us back, Tony is screaming, “I’LL FUCKIN’ KILL YOU SCAGLIONNI!!, YOUR FUCKIN DEAD! I’M GONNA HAVE MY FUCKIN’ FAMILY GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!!”

I try getting around Big Al but he pushes me back, then slaps me in the face.

So then I says to him, “Oh no you didn’t you fat fuck ...” and punch that fuck as hard as I can right in his fuckin’ oversized gut. He keels over on one knee and starts fuckin’ wheezin’ like an old man.

Under his breath he starts sayin’ “Call an ambulance, call a fucking ambulance right now, my fuckin’ heart ...”

Tony bends over to help out Big Al and I see this as a perfect opportunity to fuckin’ clobber this faggot. I fuckin’ deck him right in his Guinea nose.

I hear someone scream out, “SOMEONE CALL THE COPS TOO!, THIS FUCKIN’ GUY IS OUTTA CONTOL!”

As soon as I hears that, I’m lookin’ for the fuckin’ exit cuz I know I’m gonna be in deep shit. I’m fuckin’ throwin’ elbows left in right to get myself outta there. I make my way to the exit, run out to the parking lot, hop in my civic, and I’m fuckin’ outta there fast.

I’ve been layin’ low for the past few days at my boy Dino’s house to avoid the fuckin’ pigs. I got the word from my boys that Big Al had a mild heart attack, and I gave both of the Cordone’s major concussions. They are all on the same floor of the same hospital.

You betta not fuckin’ rat me out to the pigs and tell em’ where I am homo. Now fuckin’ run along and get the fuck outta my face you fuckin’ piece of shit. FUCK YOU. See you next time.

Got any fuckin’ thing to say to me pussy? E-mail me at Joeyscaggs69@gmail.com and go fuck ya self, how about you do that huh?