Uuuuuuuuurp!

Grrrrrrrrummmmm …

Oh, sorry, did’n happ’n to see ya tere! I was justa snoozin’ on tha ol’ “fantersy eye-land,” uh place where ah done bed a lotter womens in ma day. Hehe, in case ya havin’ figured it out yet, I call ma loveseat “fantersy eye-land.” Dem ladies seem tah like it ah wholes bunch!

Well, suppose I should esplain what ah be doin’ hur at the ol’ Zubaz Ranch. Seems dem good ol’ boys in charge of this hur ranch needed a “love doctuh” of sorts. Figured I was the best one ‘round, seein’ as ma name is Dominick Lovergene after all. Love is in dem genes o’ mine, and love is wha all tem ladies fine when they slip down ma jeans.

Hehehehe. Das what I tell all dem ladies, and theys bein’ happy to oblige … if ya know what ah mean. Hehehe.

But ah degrease … what ah’ll be tryin’ to do wit this hur piece o’ litterture is give y’all some nuggets of ma knollege on tha topic o’ love. Seein’ as how ah’ve bed over 1,000 womens in mah life, I guess that makes mah the authoritah on dis here subject. Now, granted ‘bout half of dem—maybe 750 or so—were Mexican whores and other types of wha yous may call “loose women,” tah fact remains that I am what yous may consider a “stud.”

Thas right.

But nuff ‘bout me, lemme ‘splain wha I tryin to be doin’ here. The good ol’ boys at tha Ranch gave mah this hur tellyphone, and wan mah to be takin’ tellyphone calls from all tha lisseners out dere. Now, I dun know wheres these ah calls are gonna be comins from, but dem Ranch hands said I’d be getting’ about three at ah time. Each times I be around dese parts, Ah’ll be havin’ a topic to call mese ahbout …

Sose, if ya’ll gots some questiones (thas how dems mexicanos say it, yur ol’ boy Dominick done know a lil ‘bout el espanolish), send ‘em on over tah … uh, less see hur … zubazfiles at … heheheh … get dis …. YAHOOOOOOOOOOO! … heheh … uh … dot … com? Ah dunno ‘bout dis hur shit, souns like spaceman talk tah me …

(Editors note: please send your calls to ZubazFiles@yahoo.com, in care of Dominick Lovergene)

Wells, anyways, thas ‘bout gonna do it for me hur this time, but, ya can be sure yer ol’ friend Dominick will be back nex time to take yer calls!

But before ah go, hur is tha topic fer nex week … “Gurlfrens!”

Tha should be ah fun one boys ‘n girls, so don forget tah call in yer questions, and Ah’ll see ya’ll back at tha ranch nex tahme!

Make a call to Dominick Lovergene’s show by sending over a question or comment to Zubazfiles@yahoo.com … maybe he will take your call in the next edition!